Dude update, :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Dude update, :-)
11
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 10:17am

Ok, I had my third date with dude.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 10:37am

If you havent already I think you should make the "shopping list" per the book Date or Soulmate recommended to me by CL-west, and I have now loaned it to a friend newly dating.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 1:23pm

Well, if you're not ready for something serious, there's nothing wrong with that= but that just tells ME that this Dude is not the guy for you.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 2:12pm

I think I might understand what you mean, soccermom... maybe.


I've been that way in the past- when I was having so much fun with the HUNT that I would balk at the actual thought that I might've Caught someone. Or found someone that WANTED to be caught!!! And it would scare the bejeebies out of me.


I think it happens to alot of men- because they love the hunt... but the thought of realizing that they were caught or found one worth keeping... and they don't know what to do with her. LOL


It makes me think of LoonyBunny's crazy stories. Loving the fun of dating and "the hunt"... but not quite ready for the Catch and stopping the Hunt. Could that be where you are at, Soccermom?


If you are wanting to just Hunt (just dating for the fun of dating)- then that's okay. There's nothing wrong with it! But to keep this Lil Teddybear Guy on the string as you Hunt/play- when HE wants the Capture... it's not fair to him. It sounds like he is excited about you, and into you (for as much as he knows you at this point- it's still "early" in the game to be thinking exclusively, IMO)- and he seems to be ready to at least explore further (and stop hunting further).


But don't start dating him JUST because he's interested- you have to be interested in him, too. And it sounds like he's checked off MANY of the must-haves on your list! He seems to check off the ones on mine!!! So the only thing is that he is shorter than you? I know that "shorter than me" is a deal-breaker... but that's because I'm only 5'1" and for a man to be shorter than ME... he's REALLY short. I used to want 5'10" or taller... until I saw Hiker's profile and he sounded GREAT in every way- except he was listed as 5'7". And I knew of some male friends of the family who were pretty much MY height- but they were GREAT husbands and friends and super people. And all of that got me to thinking that the height of someone just shouldn't matter so much. They can't control their height any more than I can control the size of my boobs- and it would SUCK if some perfect-match decided to NEXT me just on something like THAT. But I know it happens.


Anyway, shorter-than-other-men is one thing... but shorter-than-me is a whole other one. So that would would be TOUGH for me. Hugs to you for having to choose.


The 35-never-married aspect of bikerdude is not a huge red flag to me- but it doesn't sound much like he is ready to settle down, IMO. Which is fine if you just want to date, but maybe not if you want to settle down.


Writerdude & you

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 3:02pm

You're pretty close girl.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 4:56pm

Wow - Shrimps can always write so well - so I agree with her - on all points.

"But don't start dating him JUST because he's interested" - this is a very good one. I think you will know when you like someone and you won't want to hunt.

Keep us posted soccer mom!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 7:54pm

I am meeting writerdude tomorrow for tea.

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 8:13pm

Two thumbs up!!!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 11:53pm

WELL SAID AS ALWAYS SHRIMPY - YOU "HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD' for SOOOOO many out there, I know I have been guilty of this for sure, not any longer tho:-


mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 12:24am

Thanks, uk2~


I wish I'd had a board like this when I was MUCH younger!!!! I had to learn all my lessons by trial-and-error and doing it the hard way. I've learned SOOO much just by being here- and there are some pitfalls that I've avoided, or avoided doing again- because I read everyone's stories.


It's all about sharing and gathering wisdom- so we can ALL do better in this dating/relating game!


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 11:00am
I agree! I have learned so much on this board! Much easier than the trial and error method I used when I first divorced.
Steph

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