I think I blew it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
I think I blew it!
14
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 9:40am

After several dates with a great guy he invited me back to his house for a movie. I decided I felt comfortable enough to go. We had a GREAT TIME. He has a full basement with a bar..pool table..games..dart board! Fun stuff. Well I apparently hurt his feelings UNINTENTIONALLY by saying I do not drink beer out of a can. That is all he had. I said I WOULD and did not mind but in general I prefer bottles. Aye Aye Aye!


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 9:58am
Yikes!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 10:13am

I agree with Liz! If the guy can't accept you and your lifestyle/home and it makes him feel insecure or insulted... then he has issues that go beyond anything you inadvertantly did or said. Sounds like he isn't even going to give you a chance because (for whatever reason)- he feels like you're "too good" for him.


We DO have to date someone who is our match, or people who we feel we are "equals" to, or are similar with (sorry for the horrid grammar). I'm not saying it's right or good that people are that way, but I do think it works best when we feel like we are matched to our partner, socioeconomically, academically, intellectually, physically... although there are people who can make mismatches with those areas work just fine. I just don't think the guy can handle that.


I'm not a fan of beer (he'd probably chew me out for not LIKING beer)... but if I was to drink it, I prefer it out of a bottle too. Canned beer tastes metallic to me. Dang- I'm that way even with Ensure... it's better from the plastic bottle than the cans. A choice between canned beer or something else? Give me something else! Water would be fine for me! lol


Hey Liz- are you still with Spark people? How is all that going? Up for a challenge?


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2008
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 10:17am

If he is really that sensitive over the beer thing.. there has to be other issues with him that he is not telling you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 10:22am

sorry to hear things went down that way... maybe he does have some deeper issues of insecurity.. maybe he feels he's getting attached and that is bringing out the worst in him... i don't know...


I don't think YOU blew it.. one comment does not make or break a relationship... could you two be entering the next phase of the relationship ..."the power struggle"? It is natural to have that first "fight"... or disagreement and both of you want to be right.


In either case all you can do now is apologize... forgive yourself and forgive him... at least he

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 10:25am

This guy got bent out of shape over your preference for beer in a bottle instead of a can???

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 12:07pm

oops posted to wrong thread

QueenBun




Edited 6/1/2008 12:10 pm ET by queenbun
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 12:24pm
I agree with the others, this guy sounds too insecure. You don't need that in your life. My BF and I just had a discussion on this subject while we were visiting my relatives. I asked to borrow his credit card because I had forgotten mine at the hotel and I wanted to pick up the tab for dinner (with my family). I would pay him back when we got back to the hotel. And then I said, "unless it would be an insult to your masculinity for me to buy dinner rather than you". He laughed, no problem. He doesn't feel my success or financial stability has anything to do with him, even though his situation is not so good right now.
I don't drink beer at all, prefer white wine, how snooty is that? LOL!
QB
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 3:04pm
I agree! If he closes a relationship b/c of THAT? Move ON!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketPhoto Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 3:55pm
I don't think YOU blew it - I think he did by taking offense to a simple request that is a personal preference. I bet if it wasn't that it would be something else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 3:57pm

Other people have posted one side of the coin, I'll propose the other.

Pages