Update and a ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Update and a ??
3
Tue, 06-03-2008 - 10:51am

Well, the weekend got off to a rocky start with W.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 06-03-2008 - 11:30am

Hi Lisa.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 06-03-2008 - 12:25pm

Great question, Lisa.


Great response by Moon- I totally agree.


I can give you the flip side of your situation and although the neither side is "right" it might at least shed light into the dynamics.


In my recent relationship with BE, I was the one who needed reassurance, I had trust issues. Just like your bf, I would flip every now and then, and then I would distance myself. BE was much more like you- and he would say the same things and mean them....he wasn't going anywhere, that I don't have to flip out, and that my "over" reactions were unjustified. Logically, I knew all that. But broken trust demons from the past make it very hard to stop from reacting to fear (not caused by you..but insecurities from the past).


My only advice would be that if you love him to the point that you want to make this work, you can accept the fact that he is going to react that way sometimes. You can help by not doing anything to make him suspicious (not that you are doing anything because clearly you aren't doing anything shady) like continuing to call him back after he calls, and staying as open and true as you are. Time is usually the key- he will get to a point where he trusts all the way. I know that it feels a bit offensive and even too dramatic and needy when he gets that way. You an either decide now that it's not worth the work, or you can accept that he will take

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Tue, 06-03-2008 - 1:23pm

Thanks to both of you for your replies.