I have a CRUSH

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
I have a CRUSH
49
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 12:58am

....I can't believe it. It's not BE. I feel guilty for even feeling this! He's adorable, he's sweet, and he's in

~Pacific~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 1:33am

Is he a good guy... without drama... no drinking problem.... stable employment.... someone you could see things working out with...


or is he attractive because he's unavailable or a bad boy...


If he's a good guy, i say give it

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 8:41am
Aww Pac. I had this happen at the end of my 3 year thing that was slowly going nowhere - the one I always am referring back to. I was telling him what I needed and he was slowly delivering and I knew he didnt want to lose me but I was still bruised and then I started having a crush on someone. I think this was my heart's natural way of letting go. The price of loving this other guy for me was too high and I think it allowed me to see I needed to not reserve my heart and spirit for someone who wasnt totally right for me - I was very stubborn about it though. I ended up dating the other guy for a while but it didnt last. Then several months after that I met SYB.
I have been so relieved for you that BE followed through but in large part because you need to see that even with someone who has had some of the hangups he does, you are so worth it! Anyone would eventually jump through hoops for you because they wont want to lose you and yet does that mean that you two are really right for one another? I dont know Pac - I just dont want you to be a hoop holder like I said before. It takes so much darn energy to be that for someone. It takes away from what you are really meant to be in the larger picture, you know?
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 9:41am

CityLife said it so well!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 9:59am
EXACTLY!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 10:18am

Well, I don't know much about him really. I'm intrigued ;o)

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 10:21am

hehe...


I don't have the intention at this point of jumping ship with BE or anything BUT I have to admit I'm liking the feeling of noticing other guys. I suddenly feel excited that there are options anyway...KWIM? And wow, this guy is CUTE. OK I gotta stop..LOL!!

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 10:26am

Gosh, Soonee- those are such nice things to say! Thank you!! Oh yeah....it really is a confidence booster and I'm loving the "high" of just feeling the attraction. I honestly feel bad for saying that though, after all that really big hoop I just put BE through!


I'm not bailing on BE at this time..but there's nothing wrong with a little flirting with a good guy...is there?

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 10:49am

That's exciting, Pacific!!!


The only thing is... if this feeling continues, and you sense that things are really right with the new crush as you get to know one another... just don't stay with BE out of guilt for fear of being "the bad guy". I think that would be easy to do, especially if you've made some demands on BE and he meets them (even if reluctantly)... and then you still break up with him. I know I would feel guilty. But know that it would not be fair to you or BE to stay together out of guilt.


I say to just let things go slowly, and just be honest with yourself. Just how DO you feel about things between you and BE? Just how do you feel about the new crush? (I'm not really looking for a reply here- just ask yourself this) Allow time to pass so you can feel confident that it's not just the newness that is so attractive about the new crush.


Always be true to yourself.


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 11:35am

Yeah, the newness and the spark always gets me..I'm kind of a junkie for that feeling. I think I was just so surprised to be thinking of someone else..you know? So I'll just let it ride and get to know him as a friend without intentions. If I was to do more than that then I would be a hypocrite for everything I put BE through in regards to other women.


But hey-I'm diggin the butterflies around the crush ;o)


Pacific....looking forward a bit too much to disc golf today, and not yet oggling at the crush but yet still peering out one eye..lol!

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 12:01pm
I couldn't have said it any better! Thank goodness for your articulate posts!
Pac, enjoy it and just see what happens!
Steph

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