I love to share my funnies...

Avatar for eponine365
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Registered: 04-02-2003
I love to share my funnies...
7
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 9:44am

So, working in the medical field I hear some funny stuff, and I love to share it. Now, some of you may say.. that person is hurt, how can you laugh? So, I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone.


Last nights 4am funny...


A call came in from the Paramedics of an 18 year old girl they were bringing in. Five of us were sitting there at the radio listening to the report and it went something like this: (excluding the boring vitals that were reported lol)

Medic- "We have an 18 year old female on board.. thats one - eight. Apparently her and her boyfriend were rough (short pause) housing on the bed. The boyfriend reports that her head hit the headboard. The boyfriend also informs us that he waited 20 minutes before calling 911."

Male Nurse- "Well yah he had to finish"

Female Flight Team Nurse- "Psh, he THINKS it was 20 mins more like 3!"

Everyone- "rotflmao"

Medic- "Patient is unable to move or feel anything from the neck down"

Everyone- "dayyyyyum..!"


"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
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Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 10:19am

Those are some classics!!! So how was that roughed-up girlfriend afterall? Nothing serious, I hope! They should learn to do it the other way on the bed, if he is going to be that rough... yikes! lol


I know the one I won't ever forget was from when I was working triage too... a couple came in. The man was in a wheelchair, paraplegic. I asked the usual question, "what brought you in today?" and he answered that he had an impaction.


Okay... so I start asking through the usual questions that would follow that, about diet, last BM, etc. to get all the clues together. The man was struggling through his responses, when his wife nudged him and said "you'd better tell her." and I thought, 'tell me what?!?'


Then they proceeded to tell me that the impaction isn't fecal. It was "rubber goods."


Whoops.


I filled out what I could, with "foreign body" used in the documentation. Later when the ER doc checked him out, and did x-rays... turns out he had a dildo stuck up inside him. And needed surgery to get it removed.


And while we all respect our patients... I know the staff also had some wild commentaries about that one (as well as all taking turns to go see the x-ray, too). Poor man! How embarrassing!


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

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Registered: 05-06-2008
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 12:52pm

I can't match those stories, but working for a cable company always brought a few laughs.


During a power outage, we would invariably get the call from a customer that their cable was out.

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Registered: 10-30-2004
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 1:35pm
Oh Shrimpy we had a guy that stuck a carrot "up there" and it got really lodged.
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Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 10:52pm

We had a guy in our OR last week with a BEER BOTTLE Impaled "up there" ... it was in a heterosexual relationship - & he ended up injuring his retum & bowel so badly, he needed a bowel resection & colostomy!


..... guess I will keep those long-necks outta my bum!

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Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 10:19am

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Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 6:52pm

Wow... that is too funny!


I work in television news.... my funniest story was my old coworker telling me about a misspelling that got on the air....


an over the shoulder graphic (the picture/words next to a tv anchor) that said... HOLY CRAP... i was laughing histerically.... it was a story about a really big fish and was suppose to say... HOLY CARP.... i have a photo of it too but it's at home... i'll have to add it later so you can see it...


thanks for the funny stories,


Loonybunny

Avatar for eponine365
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Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 8:03am

Tonight's Drama... life in the ER lol.


So last night was night 7 of 7, and I am now off for 11 days. Yay! However, it wasn't an easy night for sure!


Heroine addicted 17 year old fighting, and spitting, pinching, clawing, biting.. omg it was horrible. We needed five security guards to hold her down while she called them the "N" word, and screaming ugg. Lucky me.. I got called a fat wreched c*nt! I was like omg! lol. Sorry, I work peds so I don't often get people screaming stuff like that at me lol.


Well, I spent four hours just devoted to getting her sedated finally and everything that went along with it. I was thinking wow I can't wait to get home and wash this spit out of my hair! :(


So, five minutes till 7.. its almost time to go home! 11 days off! I'm all excited and this adorable little six month old boy comes in for having a high fever. I open up his diaper to get a rectal temp and boom he pees straight up into the air and into my clevage.


Needless to say I just got out of the shower, and I'm trying to "CHILLAX!"


lol

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."