Finally asked the hard questions....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Finally asked the hard questions....
6
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 8:47pm

It's been awhile since I was here but, if anyone remembers, I'm the moron stuck in the 5 year relationship with an 'almost' wonderful man. Problem is: I was chicken to even mention the word marriage. (I didn't want it to seem like I was being pushy).


Any....I finally asked him about a month ago if he ever thought about marriage. His rather quick response was "no".

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 8:54pm

Aww sweetie (((((((((HUGS)))))))))

You're doing the right thing by ending it: he's not fulfilling a need and you need to move on to someone who will.

The boy

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:54pm
Ouch. So sorry. But yeah, its time to know - & move on , i think. (((hugs)))
Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Rebecca, Mom to Averey Elise, age 8, my big 3rd grader!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 3:13pm

Ouch, that hurts..and I'm sorry the conversation did not go the way you would have liked. I guess that the bottom line is that you have to evaluate whether marriage is something you do require or at least being with someone who will consider it and be open to the idea. And if that is your truth then as sad as it might be, you would have to tell him that you have different needs. And don't feel bad for having your needs, it is your truth. No doubt it will hurt both of you to split if you do..but how do you ignore the facts...that you both see something different on your future together.

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 5:28pm
Oh man, that bites!!!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2008
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 10:47pm

Thanks, everyone, for your support. I kept hoping that he'd get the hint and actually THINK about it, but it doesn't appear that's going to happen. I knew if it ever got to this point that I'd start feeling resentful towards him. I don't blame him for his own wants/needs, they're just different from mine. The funny thing is this: I'm tired of feeling like I have to apologize for wanting to get married. I guess that's why we're all different.


I'm kind of nervous about the upcoming conversation, but I know I've got to let him go soon. He's driving me bonkers talking about upcoming events, things with the kids, etc... Either he's hoping I'll get over it or he's just in denial. I can't quite put my finger on it. Oh well. I'll keep you all updated. I'll

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Fri, 08-22-2008 - 11:14am

So sorry you're having to face this.