When a FWB wants more than you....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
When a FWB wants more than you....
11
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 11:05am

Not sure if this is the case but CS is starting to come off a little stronger than i had hoped. We have really had a hard time meeting up again for a friendly ummmm meet-up and its been fine by me. He even went away on a guys retreat extended golfing weekend and called and text every day while gone. We've seen each other on the beach briefly (DD and i were playing in the water and he stopped for a chat and left...just how i like it) Like I said our schedules have really been conflicted and make tentative plans and then they fall through...no biggie really. But he calls every day...EVERY DAY...texts every day...EVERY DAY....while the attention is nice its more than i thought a FWB was. Last night he was going to come over after his softball game and i sent him a text that i was feeling under the weather call me tomorrow....he called to see if i needed anything, called me baby, and the feeling of being smothered came over me. I dont know about you all but "baby" or "babe" or "sweetie" for that matter are pet names i dont really start to get into until im really settled into a loving relationship. While hes a nice guy I can tolerate him for ohhhh about 45 mins alone then im ready to say "see ya next time sweet cheeks, got things to do". I guess im just looking for sparks and while he does have a sweet set of cheeks on him the rest just isnt there. Eeekk any thoughts ladies (and gents)?


M...I think im just going to pine away for DD's music man...LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 11:13am

Have you tried not replying to his text... maybe that will help slow them down. Or don't answer the phone every day... maybe only pick up every other day or something.. maybe if

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 11:18am
You know loony...i have done that and he gets...well pissy really. Id say he gets his panties in a bunch but he doesnt put any on them "cheeks" LOL Its nice having a friend to talk to (guys perspective with benefits) but the whole "baby" thing just really threw me for a loop.
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 11:29am
maybe you just need to end it. You sound like your just not into him at all and he is. That can get too sticky.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 11:40am
Hmmmm thought about it...but those cheeks....they are rock hard im tellin ya LOL Seriously its the "baby" thing. See we dont even go out for drinks or dinner....just lat night booty calls (im not complaining about that BELIEVE ME) its the other emotional stuff...
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 11:51am
I call most men babe, hon and darlin, but I don't sleep with them. It's just my cutsie name for most guys, but they do it too. I think it's just a southern thing, but I never feel offended unless I don't know the guy at all and he says it. But if I'm friends with a guy and say it, I don't think anything of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 12:00pm

He gets pissy if you don't respond to his texts or answer his daily calls??? How is that a FWB? That sounds like he is wanting you in the "girlfriend" slot... but yet not having to do the "work" of courting you in the proper way! Oh, it's too easy.


I'd either tell him the FWB has to end cold turkey (because he is starting to get too emotionally connected for a FWB)- or he has to step up and start treating you more respectfully with actual dating and going OUT together if he is thinking bf/gf...


Of course all of those suggestion are moot- depending on what YOU want out of the relationship, too- as it takes two, and you both have to be on the same page with what you want. He really can't have it both ways- the lazy ease of a FWB... but also have the emotional control that he seems to be trying to get. And if YOU don't feel it with him romantically- then it just can't keep going on.


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 12:19pm

I'd be uncomfortable with a guy who got pissy ... he sounds a tad jealous of your time, then. And that is a sticky situation... If i'm going to do FWB, no drama for me please!!


the

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 12:19pm
Good point Shrimpy...thanks for that take on it. I hadnt even seen it that way...maybe i did but since i dont want the Relationship end of it i chose to ignore. I will miss those cheeks though...LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 12:51pm

I think College Style Sweet Cheeks Spots Guy has fallen for YOU. Probably because you were not looking for more..and isn't that just the way it is with guys sometimes.. when you're not hooked they want to get you hooked. And because you're so cute! Well, I say.. follow your gut and don't get too involved just because he's laying it on thick right now. If he doesn't have enough going on upstairs I would be reluctant to buy into the sweetie, baby stuff too.


Like Loony said, maybe if you are just not as available to see him. Or, you could be upfront and remind him that you're not ready for a relationship with him, but you're enjoying the "together time". Just remember to be safe!


I like the music man... the pictures you posted are so great! I love the picture of the three of you!! He's so quarky

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 08-26-2008 - 1:51pm

tooo funny Pac...I sent him the pics through his website and said thanks for a great show M & DD from NJ...LOL Well now its out there...lets see...hoooohuuuummmmm piney away for cute quirky dorky guy...LOL


I like everyones suggestion of talking to him about taking it down a notch and see what happens...

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