How To Be a Man Magnet

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
How To Be a Man Magnet
4
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 9:32am

I got this from another message board, and the lady there said she got it from AOL... I hope that doesn't mess with any copyright problems, as I don't really have the details. But I found it was good to read through, as all of us can see where we might be doing okay, and where we might still need some improvement. And that can even vary from day to day. I know I can see ALOT of places where I didn't bother when I was married before. But I know I am trying harder to not slack off again- and thankfully Hiker DOES appreciate the energy I put into our relationship. Even in the places where he doesn't even know WHAT I am doing- he can still get the positives out of my attitude that stems from those things.


BECOME A MAN MAGNET

Neediness: The ultimate man repellent

When is the last you heard a man say, "Hey, I met this really hot needy chick last night!"? Never is right. Relentlessly saying, "I miss you," throwing (not so) silent temper tantrums when you don't have his full attention and feeling an insatiable desire for his approval are all classic needy behaviors. Neediness puts undue pressure on a man to the point where he feels responsible for your happiness. When you render yourself powerless, that's anything but irresistible.

Incessant Insecurity

"Do I look fat?" "Is she prettier than me?" Those questions drive men nuts and feeds your ego illusion that you're somehow deficient and "less than." It's an illusion because it's false. Yes, everyone feels insecurity and self-doubt from time to time, but the key to being irresistible is not to indulge or entertain these thoughts. Here's a tip: If you think you look fat in a particular outfit, go through your wardrobe and find an outfit that showcases your assets.

Clueless Communicator

Most of us don't really listen. What we do is judge whether we like or dislike what a man is saying to us, decide whether we agree or disagree with what he's saying, or determine whether we know it already. True listening happens when you drop those internal conversations and simply hear what a man is saying to you. When you truly listen, you become instantly attractive.

Sloppy and Unkempt Appearance

Yes, men will love you for your caring, affectionate ways, your wit and devilish charm, but come on! Give them a chance to experience all your fabulousness by wrapping it in an attractive package. How look impacts how you feel. And if you're looking dumping, chances are you're feeling dumpy, and men are feeling your dumpiness, too. You don't have to obsess or strive for some unrealistic ideal of perfection. But pay attention and take care of yourself.

Hardened and Bitter Attitude

Women like this usually take on a certain thin, stern look. They appear stony and tired. It's as though their girlish spirit and soft, womanly charm have been sucked out with a straw. In case you haven't guessed, this is a result of repressed anger. Let it out. Let it go. And lighten up! Rather than playing Medea or the victim, take a new role: The heroine and leading lady in your life.

Catty and Critical

Many women find it challenging to acknowledge and compliment other irresistible women, especially in the presence of their man. Insecure women will criticize other women's clothing, shoes, hair, etc. This backfires by casting you in a bad light. You're seen as insecure and jealous. Here's the other thing. By bad-mouthing attractive women, you unconsciously program yourself not to become one.

Boring in Bed

You don't have to install a stripper pole in your bedroom or get into hardcore role play (although both could be fun), but you need to be honest about your sexuality and whether or not you hold back in between the sheets. A subset of boring sex is doing it just to get it over with. What could be more unattractive. Practice being naughty and initiate sex much more frequently. Last but not least, tell him, show him, guide him to pleasuring you. He will love you for it.

Break "The Rules"

Dating rules are designed out of fear and scarcity. They exist to keep your partner off-balance so he has to keep wondering about your and put his attention on you. This is not true love; it's a game of manipulation. Never call a man. Never make the first move. Don't talk too much. There are times when they are absolutely the thing to do. You can break every rule in the book when you're in touch with your own irresistibility.

Trash Your Perfect Man List

Using a perfect man checklist makes it nearly impossible to attract the right man for you. Your ideas of perfect are narrow and limiting. They come from what you already know, which means they are derived from the past -- not the present and certainly not the future. What if someone beyond your wildest dreams is just around the corner waiting for you if you are open enough to see him?

Forget the Battle of the Sexes

It's impossible to attract a loving and satisfying relationship with a man, and have it last, if you are a secret or not-so-secret man hater. Tendencies to watch out for include looking for ways to prove women have it harder, making (or laughing at) male-bashing jokes or spending more time complaining about men than actually being with them. And even if you keep those kinds of thoughts to yourself, don't make the mistake of thinking you've got a secret. Your thoughts are palpable and resonate with others.

Drop Your Story

When a man asks you to tell him about yourself, your personal story is what comes out. There are the basic facts (education, politics, spirituality) and there's the various ways in which you label yourself: I'm bad with money. I'm unattractive. I'm too old. When you drop your story and allow yourself to be simply who you are right now, you instantly become more alive, more engaged and more irresistible.

Quit Complaining and Start Engaging

Whether silently or aloud, complaining is a major man repellant. What you're saying is, My life is not how it should be. This victimizes you, creates stress and has a negative impact on your appearance. That being said, men are attracted to more than a woman's looks. It's how she makes him feel. Women who are complaint-free make men feel good because they themselves feel good.

Get a Life and Keep It

You have a unique purpose on earth -- and it's not to twist yourself into a pretzel to fit some idea of what a man thinks you should be. If he's really attracted to you, there's no need to break plans with your girlfriend (last minute!) just to be with him or fail to make time for anything or anyone else. Expand your world. Don't shrink to his.

Be Take-Me-Home-Now Gorgeous

Perfect packaging is the art of making your outer appearance a natural and irresistible extension of your inner fox. That doesn't necessary mean dressing provocatively or inappropriately for your age and taste. It's about taking care of yourself -- clothes, hair , makeup, staying fit -- in a way that's in concert with your desire to be irresistible and have satisfying relationships with men.

~shrimpy


It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 9:39am

Oh and may I add this too... that if the MAN you are seeing doesn't hold up HIS end of the man's portion of some of these aspects in the list... NEXT him! It's not all up to the woman to make a relationship work, or better. BOTH have to put in the energy. I hope it didn't come across that I think that if a relationship fails, it's because the WOMAN isn't doing enough.


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 11:18am

Great post Shrimpy!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 1:42pm

Great article Shrimps!


Those are very good reminders. I'm afraid to say I saw myself in the "complaining" catagory especially lately. What a turn off, right? Sometimes I just have to lighten UP!


And I agree also that a man should have the same list to remember..because it takes two.

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 6:11pm
Great post!