OMG: Email from my Heartbreaker

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
OMG: Email from my Heartbreaker
16
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 1:44pm

This is the man that brought me to this msg board. I saw the email and I must admit that I was hoping and praying that the email said I made a mistake you're so amazing but it didn't, and I'm not sure how to respond, or if I even should. Still with every man I've dated since my split he is the one that everything seemed so perfect with.


So here's the email... jeeze!


The way things ended have been weighing on my mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 1:54pm
Hmmmmmmmm.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 2:07pm

If the relationship is over then I see no reason to respond.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 2:25pm

I agree with the others, no response is needed.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 2:59pm

Well, I'm no good at the no response approach, I'm so bad about having to blurt out whats on my mind right at that moment. I know it causes me grief in life, its just the way I am.. and I can't help it I guess. So I thought long and hard, and even took a little walk and came home to write this in response to him:


Oh Andrew,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 5:52pm

If you want to leave an open door for him that does it. The men I have known will take an inkling of what seems like hope and run with it. If you dont want an open door then

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 6:12pm

I think closure is good. Can you remind me what happened before with Andrew that brought you to the board? I'm not able to search it and I'm curious.


pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 7:29pm

while my advice would have been DON'T respond, if it happened to me then i prob would have sent a similar email.. (sometimes i don't listen to my own advice)...


ya gotta like that he said sorry.. and he sounds genuinely remorseful. He feels he's not the guy... well, you can't do anything with that... it's sucks but ce la vie.


in a way, i can almost hear my heartbreaker saying the exact same thing to me.. had he not completely done a 180...


(((Hugs))) Trauma J.... He was better as a memory (to quote Kenny Chesney)."someday you're gonna find someone. and right away you'll know it's true. right there in that moment, you'll finally understand... He was better as a memory, than as your man"


Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 7:56pm

Ok quick back history on Heartbreaker:


Four weeks, everything was perfect.. not to over the top, but we were both very into eachother and having a great time. Timeline of the final week went like this:


Saturday- Met all his friends


Sunday- BBQ at his place with the kids and he felt bad that they had nothing to watch because he didn't watch tv, and so he went out and bought a dvd player and some disney movies.


Monday- He says yah know, I might just call the cable company, I felt bad they were so bored.


Wednesday- We meet for breakfast before he goes to work


Thursday- I get the "its not you its me" email


Now, a bit of an update.. I just got a text from him asking if I could ever catch up over coffee. I text back that I'm free tonight.. have not heard back but I called and left a msg saying listen.. this is one of those rare nights that I'm free, if you want to go catch up let me know because I'm about to jet out the door in 20 mins.


And its true, I'm supposed to meet mohawk man in one hour! Yes, I know I'm a horrible person if I'd cancel at the last minute.. but I can't help the what ifs.


So, the next 15 mins will tell what is going on with me tonight... I'll have a report late tonight either way I'm sure :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 8:52pm

Oh my...I have to admit I would've probably done the same as you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 9:59am

Major major update here.. and I'm very hung over so hang with me here if you can lol.


So what is the best revenge you could get against someone who broke your heart? Make them sing "I touch myself" at Karaoke! Yes, he gave me a free pass to pick his song, and thats what I chose LOL. We also sang "Your Song" together, and around 9 beers I had the guts to sing "Santaria" by myself.. first time I've ever sang alone lol. Ended up all his friends were there who I totally adored, so it was a wonderful and fun night with everyone. One of his female friends says.. "All my ex's are douchebags" as she was telling a story. I looked at Andrew and said "Yah so are mine" LOL.. it was great.


Wow.. where to begin with everything that went down last night. I have so much closure, and the perfect tag that I put over my relationship with him has been dissolved which is a good thing. I don't feel over emotional about him or whats going to happen with he and I.. I just feel very content with everything which is a very good place to be in my book. I think attacking this situation with tons of emotion would be a bad thing.


Anyway... he woke up one day and realized that for way to long everyone has been dictating his life, and he was doing nothing for himself. It was work, me, friends... no him. "It was all to easy, and that can be a scary thing. I felt like I was going to wake up one day married to you" he said.. which was odd to hear. We were having a sweet moment singing at the table and he said "We'd still be here, right here together if it weren't for me wouldn't we?" I said yes, we would. One thing I'd like to share about him to explain his freak out... something I remember to help me accept that this was understandable: He married a single mom with three children, they built a life together, but she did not want anymore children even though he desperatly wanted children of his own. So she talked him into a vasectomy and one month later she flipped out and left him. Thats kind of a major thing to do for a woman.. and I often wondered if I reminded him a bit to much of that entire situation. So yah, he woke up one day and broke off all contact with me and his friends and went into hermit mode. He started running and training for a 5k too. I asked him though..

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