Still in the Friend Zone

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Still in the Friend Zone
12
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 2:21pm

well, my instincts are not so sure anymore.... Saturday ended up being a full on event. A bar crawl and MM was there.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 3:16pm

I guess he might have liked you as a person to chat and hang out with and even might have thought about possibilities.. Does he know about your kids? This knowledge can be a huge factor in determining what and how he feels about you. If he knows about kids.. one of the possible thoughts that he had could be " wow she is fun and still keeps young and active insipte of kids".. another possibility is " How does she find time to party as much as she does given the responsibility of five kids.. Will she be good enough for a responsible long lasting relationship- outside the party scene..?"..


So my qn is have you discussed your family life with him.. how you care for your kids..how you make sure they are cared for even if you are out late at night.. Some guys does show interest just to hang out and have fun.. other guys want to know your serious side when actually considering a relationship..


I guess I am trying to throw some light into one of the many possibilities..


On the other hand he may not be thinking anyof these and just wants to keep his options open..


Good luck and hope you keep having fun, but find a guy who sees it all and accepts it the way it is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 5:30pm

well, thanks for helping me think of other possibilities. my thoughts are that he's keeping his options open. that makes sense. i'll keep my

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 7:46pm
I don't think it means anything much right now. It is easy to be brave over email but can be a little more intimidating in person. Add into that you are with your meetup group and he may not want them to pick up on the crush and the prospect of them embarrassing you. Maybe he is second guessing himself, maybe he isn't sure yet if he wants to go there, maybe he just needs more time getting to you. It is still good just be patient and open but continue to keep your options open. I think he was showing interest but it is still too early to say if he wants to take it further. But by all accounts there is still potential...enjoy!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 8:16pm

Yes that is a good option.. And I guess if you are the organiser of the meetup group, then may be it would be nice if you make it more formally, and not hanging out late with just MM and another guy alone.. That kind of shows you are intrested in hanging out there even if it is just these two guys, when you could have gone home. So if you make yourself little less available( atleast for him or a smaller group exclusively) he might be mor intrigued and eager to be arond you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 9:59pm

Hey Loony...


Could be any number of things. He very well could be terrified of rejection, and some guys will not make a move until you do. Some guys will only move forward when you do the initiating..and that might nowe be your game. Its not my game either. But remember, it is him and not you. Give it time and meantime keep smiling :o)

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 11:57pm

Thanks for the encouragement...


last night could have been more my nerves than his... I expected something to be different. I didn't know how to act around the entire group with him around ya know. But tonight, i went out and didn't have expectations.


I decided to check out pool night... I'm glad i went. I had a really nice, fun time and met several new people. I felt more relaxed around MM... and just did my own thing. He still came around and hung around me... all on his own. That was cool.


I had several people ask me about the next karaoke ... which i haven't scheduled due to lack of interest. What came out tonight is to shoot for a saturday night when everyone doens't have to work early the next day. So.... i'll be working on organizing one soon!!


Then i played some pretty good pool. And MM was my partner. He said, "i'm not afraid to play with you." then kinda laughed at himself for how that sounded... He's very good and my job was just NOT to sink the eight ball or scratch. And i did good. We won two games in a row.


I had a nice social time... met several new people... and spread joy.


I don't expect to hear from MM outside of meetup from now on.... i'd be surprised to anyway. But i'm fine either way....


Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 4:58pm

i agree with you savannah... i hope there is still potential. the more i was learning about him, the more intrigue i was... He's not my usual type, ya know. and that i saw as a good thing.


anyone else want to weigh in??


he wrote a lengthy email on friday that i never really answered (it was just about this and that...). now it just doesn't feel necessary. you don't think he felt like i was blowing him off, do ya. My gut tells me, he backed off cause he's not sure he wants to go there... for what ever the reason (again my gut tells me it's because he learned that i have children). But we have a lot in common and there's no harm in just being friends. maybe something will develop down the road....??


when we parted last night... it was like, okay see ya at the next one. And he question "when is the next one?"... i said friday. he mentioned that he's going to a concert thursday but said "you work right?" and i said "yah, i work".... and it was

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 6:22pm

, "i'm not afraid to play with you.


Id have said "really? Well ... you havent seen nothin' yet!"

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 6:40pm

Yeah I'll chime in. I think the possibilities are open big time. Some guys just like to take it slow. Hang in there and keep things open

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 7:53pm

are you saying he should be afraid LOL!!


Yes, friends will be a good thing all around. I'm probably the one who acted funny saturday night, with all my expectations. who knows. But sunday was good, casual and fun.


here's what i've learned about him so far... he graduated college in '95.. which

Pages