Something I need to confess...
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| Mon, 09-08-2008 - 5:55am |
This is regarding Heartbreaker, and it is very sexual and explicit.. so there is your warning.
I left out some major details of what happened between he and I thursday night, but its really really freaking me out. In fact when I wrote that post friday morning I didn't realize the damage that had been done either, I was just really very sore and figured it was the alcohol.
So, with Heartbreaker claiming how much he's changed, and demanding control over his life and such... there was one major change that I experienced that night. I don't know if he is in the middle of some midlife crisis that I'm being wrapped up into or what is going on here...
Anyway.. here it goes. Yes we had sex, I stated in the other post that I spent the night. So anyway Friday I was very sore.. I touched my face and I was sore, I touched my neck and I was sore. So I went to go look at my body and I had two bruises on my face, one on my neck, one on each shoulder, two bruised bite marks, and two spots where he drew blood. In a very slight and small defense of him he said several times... am I hurting you, I don't want to hurt you. I think between the alcohol and being so happy to be back in his bed I was just numb to what was happening. I remember hearing my hair break he was pulling it so hard... just not a good memory that night.. not at all. Also something I noticed that morning was his top drawer of his side table looked like he robbed a sex toy shop.
This is all so different from the man I was so crazy about. This is the man who was so sweet, and affectionate and unbelievably attentive to every whim and need of mine.. great sweet wonderful sex. When I say things were perfect, they really were.
I don't know what to think of this. I'm worried that he's going through something really serious, or maybe it was the alcohol. I don't know if I should be running for my life or at least giving him a chance to explain himself more. I mean, I can hang with some rough sex.. but if thats a 10 then we need to bring it down to like a 6 lol.
He did text me today that he's been very sick feeling since that night and we'll get together this week. I am so cautious of this guy now.. both physically and emotionally. I don't know I am just shocked that someone can change THAT much. It was very angry feeling.. all the sweet and beautiful was just gone. I've never in my life had a sexual experience like that and I am very freaked out.
I'm sorry if this was to graphic, I really needed to get it off my chest and share. I will be talking to him about it, I just am worried that this could be a sign of something more serious that he's going through.

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Oh wow TJ...
I agree with your hunch that it's something serious he is going through (for whatever reason HE has, for treating you that way) and why he is different now. But please listen when I say to NOT GO THERE AGAIN. What you enjoyed with him or about him in the past, is obviously not what is there today, and it's not YOUR JOB to try to find the "old him" or to try to help him to get that
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I have to totally agree with Shrimpy here! I think you need to take a huge 10 steps back from Heartbreaker. I don't like the sound of this at all. Your options are to talk to him about this if you feel the need. But why would someone who cares about your so much hurt you when your at your most vunerable unless it was consentual before the act took place?
Big hugs, I hope this works out for you in the best way possible. Really think about what you were missing with Heartbreaker and see if those qualities are still there. If they aren't, run don't walk to the nearest exit.
JL
Hi TJ-
TJ
Don't be hard on yourself, forgive yourself for letting this happen, we all make mistakes especially when alcohol is involved. But I totally agree with Shrimpy, do not have further contact with this guy. If he's capable of that kind of behavior once, he's capable of it again, and next time could be worse. Learn from this mistake, then move on.
((Hugs))
QB
Michelle---
I have a really bad feeling about this, sweetie. I have not read the other posts yet but I bet they relay the same sentiment. I think Heartbreaker is a mess and he is abusive. It is easy for you to say to yourself "oh, he was just bein g rough..and I didnt really like it." But from the outside this looks like he has an aggressive style. And aggressive sex like that probably lean towards his aggressive pent up thoughts about control and women in general. Am I generalizing? Maybe, but I'm worried. Your instincts and intuition and not wrong...something was wrong please listen to them. I would steer clear from him. He sounds dangerous lord knows I'm no prude but the reg flags are big. And just because he was drinking IMO does not excuse the wierdness.
Hi trauma_junkie,
I'm sorry to hear you're concerned for your friend.
I'm with you guys on this one...
I think I just kind of kept all of this to myself trying to figure it all out. That was really the reason why I sent him that email that I needed a few days to process everything that happened that night. So much good and so much bad ya know?
Something in him has snapped, and I really do not have it in me to be his nurse maid and help him figure it all out. Who knows, maybe the last woman he was with loved it rough and he thought this was all a good thing.
I am glad you shared with us. We are here to support you. I ditto what the rest of them are saying. Sex shouldnt be scary or painful. This dude has too many issues. You deserve better and better will come along.
Take care,
Laurie
Rough is one thing if it is mutual. This seems to have gone to a whole different place. I agree with the others, there seems to be a lot of rage going on here. The fact that blood was drawn is very, very scary. He may be wonderful when he is sober, but having been married to an alcoholic, people can get very, very mean when they are under the influence.
I'm so sorry you're feeling bad, but this is really a dealbreaker. You don't even want to know what he is capable of. It is hard to see this side of someone that you thought highly of. Kind of makes you feel like a fool, but don't let it. It's just a side of him you didn't know yet.
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