Nexted the artsy man...
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| Wed, 09-10-2008 - 1:07am |
Ok, so Pac asked me on another message about last weekends date. Well, Mr. AF (artsy fartsy) and I had a huge issue. He completely changed plans on me and left me dateless on a Saturday night at 7 p.m. in the evening. I have completly supported and helped him and his opening the whole time and I am going through a very very stressful and serious situation with my job right now, because they sold me to a new company and the company is putting their own people to take over my position.
I didn't talk to anyone about it, but it's been an ongoing process for awhile now and everyday gets worse and worse. Ok, so I haven't dated AF for long, but he totally knew that I was very upset and stressed out about having my entire department ripped from underneath me and placed on the bottom of the food chain. My entire life has turned upside down. So although he knew this, I kept supporting him, keeping quiet about what was going on at work, even though I've been crying everyday for almost two months. I know, I should GET OVER IT, but I just haven't had the greatest summer and the last ten days have been HORRIBLE. Again, I told AF about it, because he asked once, but didn't delve and kind of tried to keep it to myself. I didn't want to stress him out and I felt once the opening was over, we would concentrate on both of each other. NOPE.
Welllllllllll, Saturday hit a wrong cord with me, because he begged me and pleaded for me to be there for him. I sat around from 2 p.m. till 7 p.m. when he told me he was going to cancel the evening entertainment on the LAST MINUTE. Not to mention his Grandma telling me I was too old for him. It was just awful and then on top of it, I moved heaven and earth to get the girls a sitter, which I usually don't do, because I'm home early enough, but this time I wasn't sure. THEN he says, I need to chill out and be more flexible.
We ended in a huge arguement when I told him to shove flexiblity up his ying yang. He apologized the whole time, but it seems since then that we couldn't really recover, because it just loomed. Sunday night he asked me over after he apologized and then I was barely at his place and he wanted to try to get me to sleep with him. I told him NO freaking way. I made it clear that I wasn't ready anytime soon and that after this weekend I think it's best we just learn more about each other before heading for the sack, because obviously, his quick switches weren't turning me on. I had noticed in the few weeks of dating him, that he'd make plans and then suddenly switch. That is fine, but not when I think it involves hurting other people or myself for his own selfish reasons.
I told Pac that I just didn't feel the connect and when I left him Sunday evening, he never asked if I got home ok and I haven't heard from him until he sent me a text message tonight.
He has no responsibilities, no normal job, because his art doesn't have a schedule. So no schedule and for two days, because I turned him down, he only texts me: "are you alive? muah!" No call, no nothing, just a stupid text and I might seem dramatic, but for all he knows, I could have been killed last Sunday and he just now asks where and how I am? Not even a phone call? The man has NOTHING to do! He doesn't even work on his art all day.
NOPE. Doesn't fly, so I nexted him. May seem harsh, but his whole aura and him constantly trying to mildly refer to us having sex soon, made me feel that he wasn't into me, but just wanted to get into me. LOL.
I feel better and I feel relieved. This other guy that likes me, has been coming on tooo strong and that isn't making me feel comfortable either. So basically, I'm just not feeling it.
AND, can you believe I still can't get that grocery guy man out of my head? Whats it been? Three weeks since I saw him and I still think about him???? UGH! He's probably married or something and I keep fantasizing about this man. GEESH. I'm a dork. But I remember, his name is Joe. (sigh) Maybe I should hunt him down on a Friday night at the grocery store (he works their) and ask him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee. I just feel so weird and awkward at the thought.
If I could only learn to demagnetize the selfish men. GEESH! I never have a problem dating, but I sure have a problem with these self absored jerks.
Not that I'm perfect, but at least I know I have a malfunction. :)

Oh Cat, I'm sorry to hear about your job :( I know you worked so hard to get that position and really built it up around your abilities: tailored to yourself and played up your strengths! For them to just crash that down like nothing- blarg to them! What's the next move for you? Can you stay there or do you have to find another job?
As for the guy? Your gut was right on with this one! What a jerk to leave you waiting around after making plans with you and you spend the time getting a sitter :( And then inviting you over on Sunday with the hint for sex- I'm surprised you didn't kick him where it hurts!!!
I didn't realize that Joe worked at the grocery store... why did I think you had run into him over the cantaloupes? Perhaps you should make Fridays the stock up night for groceries... of course, only after you've gone home to change into that REALLY cute outfit... :)
Oh- I was going to ask and totally off topic, have you kept your hair with the short cut or are you growing it back out?
Oh yeah, he totally needed to be NEXT'D!!!!
Ick!!!
Artsy fartsy what a goob!!!
(((HUGS)))
What a jackwad.
Yeah, I really worked so hard at that job and I've been having a really hard time adjusting to this change after ten years of being with my other company. I still work from home, which is great and I don't really want to change that because of commute time and gas, but I also feel pretty alone at home all day and no one to talk to.
This new guy who will take my position said the other day (I was training him): "I think it's time to get off the phone and take care of your kids."
SAY WHAT??????? How dare someone suggest that I don't do that! It was 4 p.m. and my hours are until 5 or 6 p.m. Freaking couldn't believe it! I keep having to listen to those sorts of comments. AWFUL. And NO ONE cares. They say I'm being too sensitive. Which might be true, but I thought the comment was insensitive and out of line.
As for AF: I'm trying very hard this year to learn to calm myself more instead of being over reactive. I try to walk away and cool off before saying stupid stuff, so I just let it sink in awhile first and sometimes I can brush it off and sometimes I can't. So I let things sink in and realized that my feelings weren't invalid or reactive, but that I had a right to feel upset. Everyone always says I shouldn't next someone right away, so I have been very careful to give people the proper chance, but I say: three strikes with verbal warning and if you can't resepect me then your out.
Grocery guy is 30 minutes away! I never go to that grocery store. He didn't have a ring either and we were talking about his daughter and my kids. I know, go figure, we just talked for 20 minutes while he was stocking the orange juice. LOL. Then my youngest spilt a bottle and here he was mopping it up, I felt so bad and he was just so nice about it.
Anyway, I'm being a little snobby, because it wasn't really my idea of the kind of career I would be ever dating a man doing, but I can't get him out of my head and I shouldn't be so awful and judgemental. Maybe a short Friday night stop at the grocery store wouldn't be bad. Maybe I'll be lucky. I do have to go to take my daughter to my friends house for a party and it's her grocery store that he works at. Happens to be Friday. If I don't see him, then it wasn't meant, but I shouldn't let an opportunity pass I guess. Can't be worse then a self absorbed man, with no annual income and no car. LOL>
I'm going through a hair phase. I don't know if I want to grow it out or leave it short. With all else, I'm in a mid life crisis. LOL. Even my hair is going through a crisis.
Edited 9/10/2008 11:17 am ET by myprecioustwo
Get off the phone and take care of your kids??? OMG!!!
According to everyone's postings, this artsy man has also been named jackwad, goob, freak, jerk, and Mr. Unreliable. I think goob is my favorite.
This guy wouldn't happen to be really short would he? I think I had a run in with him!!! lol
Sorry to hear about your job situation.
lol, ya Jackwad is my favorite!
Sorry about Art guy, Cat. You did right by nexting him IMO. He seemed to be clueless about timing, schedules and priorities, especially when we are single moms. You bent over backwards for him and he seems, well, careless! He could really use Michelles "how to date a single mom" list.
Grocery guy- hey why not just pop in on