Saw this one coming a mile away...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Saw this one coming a mile away...
19
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 12:49pm

So Irish's psycho ex has gone through all of his emails and gotten my first and last name, where I work, and my phone number.


OH YAY!


She actually made threats to him about things she would do if he didn't do "x. y, z". Like hunt me down at work and stuff like that. One of the demands was that he go to one counseling session with her. I was like well there's nothing wrong with that. Hell I'd even offer her three.. but after that I'd be like you're on your own! Next was that he had to take the kids every weekend, and come visit 2 nights a week. When

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 1:03pm
It wouldn't be worth it to me. I don't know the guy, but i would have a few choice words regarding that total fiasco. I'd wash my hands quickly from that whole drama.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 1:13pm

What kills me also is that this is a casual relationship! We're not even exclusive! I have to deal with all of this for casual? JEEZE!


But like I told him.. if it were just him without all of these outside issues then I'd be putty in his hands. He said yah now I see why you don't date men who are separated less than a year. I said yep.. imagine if we had met a year from now.. things would be pretty different I'm sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 1:13pm
Too much drama for me.
Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 1:14pm

Yah, Cat I've given thought to walking away for a while and giving him time to sort this out without me involved.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 1:23pm
That is what happened with RF, I broke the rule with him, because his divorce wasn't final until this month and he'd been separated over a year. HOWEVER< my rule is: NEVER EVER DATE ANYONE that hasn't been separated and divorced for two years. Two years is the mark, because anything fresher, is a nightmare in my book. I'll never do that stupid mistake again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 1:25pm

The "exs" behavior leads me to think that maybe Irish has not been as 'cut and dry' about the divorce and severing emotional ties with her as he is leading you to believe. She seems to be reacting in a way that makes her seem fearful, confused and threatened. If Irish has in no uncertain terms already cut the ties and and told her so, why is she reacting like he is still hers?


I just wonder if Irish is telling her what she wants to hear in order to keep the peace. Letting her call the shots, and soothing her emotional needs and wants. Maybe he is still playing into that. It is still fresh.... neither of them have had efficient time to heal from each other.


And when you think of it that way, its no ones fault. Its just an unfortunate reality, that divorce takes a huge emotional toll that no one can just get over and move on so quickly.


Be careful- if you keep seeing Irish you are very likely to be the one he jumps to like a frog on lily pads. One relationship right into another. No time to heal in between and this could likely bring all his drama into your life. Including his baggage, ex, and unhealed life.


I'm not trying to be harsh. But it all sounds so raw and unhealed.

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 2:17pm

You are very likely to be the one he jumps to like a frog on lily pads. One relationship right into another.


You are likely to be his transitional woman.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1998
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 6:44pm
I don't think anyone is worth that.
Tracy

Living in Adelaide, South Australia


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Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 9:13pm

I would tell him that he needs to get some stuff straight and that you would like to give him that time.

[ ~*~Lisa~*~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 9:44pm
Dont be so sure a year will make ANY difference! Look at Taz!

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