Well dating is going on hold

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
Well dating is going on hold
6
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 10:58pm

Apparently I am a complete idiot! Somehow I'm just so not good at this dating thing or seeing signs from people...Sunday I spent the day with EHS and we made gumbo together he asked me to stay the night but I couldn't because I had to get kids from the ex. Well I could have stayed the night before but EHS never picked up his phone to find out that I wasn't working Sat night.


So anyway I ended up getting some chili from my ex and I have to admit that its my favorite chili and EHS wanted to try some. Well I got him a bowl. Monday night I was going to bring it to him and then asked him to come get it because I was busy cleaning and doing laundry...OMG my room looked like a laundry basket had thrown up everywhere. Well we were texting and EHS said he didn't mind coming to get said bowl of chili and I told him let me know when he's coming over. I was thinking Id slip into cute lil nightie. Well he never showed and i haven't heard from him since. i even texted him on Tues thinking something was up and I still haven't heard anything....HELOO its freaking THURSDAY!!!!


Apparently I can't read people at all. I thought everything was going well but I guess EHS didn't feel the same way. After 3 months you would think someone would have the decencey to call and say "hey this isn't working for me anymore" BUT NOOOO!


Sorry i'm totally exhausted. My kids are going out of town with my ex this weekend and I feel guilty because I want to spend time with them but I have to work all weekend and really need to get some studying in because I'm almost failing respiratory pharmocology. i'm stressed to the max rt now and totally PMSing on top of it. I miss playing my game and now I feel like an idiot and i miss EHS.


Thanks for letting me vent. I'm going to be taking a break from dating for a while because I need to concentrate on school.


JL

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 11:10pm

Are you sure he's ok? I would be worried- he said he was coming over and then you don't hear from him again? I would call him and see if he answers- and if he doesn't, I'd leave a message to the effect of, "look, you said you were coming over three days ago and I haven't heard from you, could you please let me know you're ok or I'm calling (cops, family, friends) to make sure you're ok"

My friend D had to do that to a guy she was dating.

Winter Alison

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 8:14am

I am thinking along those lines too. Is he ok? 3 months is a long time to go before ghosting. But the best advice I can give is dont worry about him. He is an adult and capable of notifying you of anything and taking care of himself. You have too much on your plate right now to be fretting over a guy. And if he did ghost are you giving up on dating or would you date someone else?


Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 8:31am
I dont know .... that would worry me if there were no signs this would happen. I'd call once, his home or work - &^ just tell him you were worried - thats all you needed to know, that he was alive. THEN you can kill him!

med small Photobucket small


~Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 8 & Lotsa Labs!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 11:48am

I would have to call him and see if he was ok.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 5:07pm

i called and texted on Tues and got no response, so I figure he's done. I am worried but not going to fret over it. I have too much on my plate right now to worry about his dumb butt.


I am not going to be dating anyone at this point. Finals are coming up in about a month so I need to concentrate on that.


Thanks for the advice. I'll prob stay around and lurk post here and there.


JL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 5:13pm

I got ghosted at three months! It SUCKED. How could someone be so mean? Yes, stuff happens, but usually if it involved hospitals, accidents, homicide, you hear about it somehow. People with the flu can make a phone call. I really questioned my ability to read people, and I am still a little leery of meeting new people because of it.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you...kids 24/7, work, school. I want so badly to have someone for "me", but honestly, where do I fit it in? I imagine you are feeling the same way.

My mom said today it all will pass and when this stuff is over I will be free to see someone (I said I hope it isn't when I am 50!). She suggested just dating for the adult conversation and nothing more...if something happens, it happens. Yeah, she has been married three times, but she is a GUY magnet at 63, so maybe, for once, I should listen to her!

Don't be too upset...here in CT, an elementary school teacher with two kids and a dog is feeling EXACTLY like you are. Hang in there.