Trouble in Paradise

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Trouble in Paradise
25
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 8:42am

The problem is I dont even know why. I have spent a few days trying to figure out what is bothering me but I only come up with a few things. One is I am tired all the time. I am an active person and dont do well on a few hours sleep. So I told EMT that there will be no more late nights with him. I just cant do it anymore. The other issues are a little vague. One is that there are similarities in this relationship with EMT and the abusive one I got out of a while back and it scares me. EMT is NOT abusive by any means but the similarities are enough to scare me.


The other thing is I dont really want to spend time everyday with EMT. I have 3 kids, a full time job and a handful of activities that keep me really busy. I have been trying to squeeze time in with EMT but I havent had time to keep up on the house, bills and accounts and other little projects that always seem to need to be done. Its frustrating, especially with my house being for sale I like to keep it as neat and clean as possible. My yard has been covered in leaves for weeks now. ARGH.


Plus the holidays are stressing me big time. I wish I were a member of a religion that doesnt celebrate them. Its all too much for me. Hopefully after the holidays things will settle down.


Tonight EMT is coming over for dinner and all I want is to go home from work, pick up dinner and veg on the couch alone or with the kids. I had a busy weekend that I am still recovering from.


On the good news side, I took DD and her boyfriend to Boston on Sat to see the Smashing Pumpkins and have dinner at Hard Rock. Great concert. I highly recommend seeing them.


Laurie

anonymous

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 9:19am

Wow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 9:28am

Ok well... since I fail at keeping a man for more than a month I don't know if this is acceptable or not. But dosn't there come a time in a relationship where its like "Sure baby, we can hang out.. but its BYOR.. .bring your own rake!" LOL. You know what I mean.. if he wants to spend time together not every minute can be a fun outing. Maybe hanging out outside in the leaves could be fun. Maybe finding ways to run errands and have coffee could be fun.


I just feel like there is a point that you can reach where you just have fun doing the every day activities of your life..

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:11pm

Sounds like a lot on your plate. You need some down time! Would you be able to tell EMT you need to have a night or two to not go out? Its seems natural to need that space.


I am curious to know what kind of things about EMT remind yo of your abusive past relationship? Whatever it is, I am sure it is something to address even within yourself to assess what's going on and to make sure this is not your instinct telling you something to be aware of.


And this is such a stessful time, the holidays. I don't really know anyone who is not sweating it this year. Just too much financial woes all around. Wouldn't it be great if everyone just agreed to NOT do gifts and buy buy

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:19pm
Wouldn't it be great if we could have a holiday from THE holidays?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:20pm
I have really asked my family, time and time again to leave the gifts alone. Especially this year! Can't anyone understand that it's not cool to be in debt? Why does everyone still feel obliged to buy something for someone when they know the other party will feel bad. My sister only has three of us, but I have to buy for 6 of them! I just find it very very difficult when I'm the only bread winner, but obligated to play along. :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:23pm
Every year the holidays are at my sister's house and my mother is there as well.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:31pm
That is me and my Dad/StepMom and my Sisters house. I just hate being the sister that everyone talks about or feels sorry for. It disgusts me! Even my other sister got divorced a few years ago and since then remarried! She stayed single maybe two months and now she's happily married again! GEESH! I'm 8 years running and everyone looks at me like I'm going down the same path as my Mom. It really sucks and is really hurtful. The disapproving eye!! However, I'm going to see my sister again this year, because I know she loves me, no matter how much it irritates taht she feels sorry for me and because i really really really want to see my friends again. I don't want to be alone for the Holidays. The last 6 months have been lonesome enough for me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 12:40pm

My mom and my sister don't get what it's like to work full time and take care of a house ALONE.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 1:01pm
I love my family, but they think they know EVERYTHING in child rearing and always have put in their two cents. My oldest is close to her cousin, so he thinks it's only great if you are a prep. Anything else is bad news. My oldest feels out of place with those kids, because she says they are so mean and rude and look down on her. Well, she goes to a uniform military academy, so sometimes, when she is out of school and goes to the mall on the weekend, she wears a skull tshirt or skull hat. My nephew, her cousin thinks it's AWFUL and will tell my sister all this negative stuff and then they call her Goth and say she's going to turn into one of those evil kids. For goodness sake, even little boys wear skulls because of the pirate thing. My oldest happens to like one and just because she's a girl, it's suddenly evil. She doesn't have a evil bone in her body, she just thinks they are cool and it doesn't harm anyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 1:11pm

((hugs))

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