Trouble in Paradise
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| Mon, 11-17-2008 - 8:42am |
The problem is I dont even know why. I have spent a few days trying to figure out what is bothering me but I only come up with a few things. One is I am tired all the time. I am an active person and dont do well on a few hours sleep. So I told EMT that there will be no more late nights with him. I just cant do it anymore. The other issues are a little vague. One is that there are similarities in this relationship with EMT and the abusive one I got out of a while back and it scares me. EMT is NOT abusive by any means but the similarities are enough to scare me.
The other thing is I dont really want to spend time everyday with EMT. I have 3 kids, a full time job and a handful of activities that keep me really busy. I have been trying to squeeze time in with EMT but I havent had time to keep up on the house, bills and accounts and other little projects that always seem to need to be done. Its frustrating, especially with my house being for sale I like to keep it as neat and clean as possible. My yard has been covered in leaves for weeks now. ARGH.
Plus the holidays are stressing me big time. I wish I were a member of a religion that doesnt celebrate them. Its all too much for me. Hopefully after the holidays things will settle down.
Tonight EMT is coming over for dinner and all I want is to go home from work, pick up dinner and veg on the couch alone or with the kids. I had a busy weekend that I am still recovering from.
On the good news side, I took DD and her boyfriend to Boston on Sat to see the Smashing Pumpkins and have dinner at Hard Rock. Great concert. I highly recommend seeing them.
Laurie

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Wow!
Ok well... since I fail at keeping a man for more than a month I don't know if this is acceptable or not. But dosn't there come a time in a relationship where its like "Sure baby, we can hang out.. but its BYOR.. .bring your own rake!" LOL. You know what I mean.. if he wants to spend time together not every minute can be a fun outing. Maybe hanging out outside in the leaves could be fun. Maybe finding ways to run errands and have coffee could be fun.
I just feel like there is a point that you can reach where you just have fun doing the every day activities of your life..
Sounds like a lot on your plate. You need some down time! Would you be able to tell EMT you need to have a night or two to not go out? Its seems natural to need that space.
I am curious to know what kind of things about EMT remind yo of your abusive past relationship? Whatever it is, I am sure it is something to address even within yourself to assess what's going on and to make sure this is not your instinct telling you something to be aware of.
And this is such a stessful time, the holidays. I don't really know anyone who is not sweating it this year. Just too much financial woes all around. Wouldn't it be great if everyone just agreed to NOT do gifts and buy buy
My mom and my sister don't get what it's like to work full time and take care of a house ALONE.
((hugs))
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