Update on what's going on with me
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Update on what's going on with me
| Mon, 11-17-2008 - 7:51pm |
From my Myspace blog on November 6:
So it is these "little" moments in my life that really touch my heart and cause me to smile and/or cry.

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Thanks to sophie.avas.mummy for my amazing sig!
Mark -
I've been scared at work myself. This is a scary time. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
"I do have a slight concern that I am not turned on by her but I am focusing on what is good about the relationship rather than what is lacking."
I just wonder how CW would feel if she heard that sentiment?
CW and I started dating mid June. I would not tell CW that I am not turned on by her. What is the point to do that? This is my stuff and it is up to me to work on it myself. I work on being transparent and honest but also compassionate. Honesty for it's own sake does not serve any purpose. I look at what is the intention of my communication (and others').
We are good together sexually. I please her and she works on pleasing me. I love that we do that for each other. I'm not in my 20s or 30s or even 40s so being "turned on" is not as essential in the grand scheme of things in my view and life.
Mark
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
I suppose everyone has their own relationship priorities. I would want to know if my partner was not turned on by me. I feel like YOU deserve to be with a woman who rocks your world and turns you on and doesn't just try to please you...BUT DOES PLEASE YOU.
Mark, I agree on that sentiment. My Dad is 63. He has a WONDERFUL woman in his life, smart, funny, loves him, loves US (my X step-mom of 23 yrs hated his children & was conivving & a horrid person), & she is SO good for him.
I want to clarify what "turns me on" means to me or not means to me. It does not mean that I am not attracted to her. What it does mean is that I don't lust after her when we are apart. I don't really think I have done that with any woman in my life.
Cute Widow IS cute and hence my nickname for her. She has qualities that I do find attractive such as her humor, her face, her sexual openness, her honesty, her caring, her youthful appearance, her intelligence. As I get to know her (coming on 6 months now), I feel our relationship continues to deepen.
Insofar what doesn't turn me on is trying to explain chemistry. It might be her body type or her reserved, intellectual demeanor or something else altogether. As I said, I don't look for what does not work for me, I see what does work for me.
Not being "pleased" takes two people for I own a part of that. An example (not saying this is me): if one partner is depressed or has low self esteem or has a negative view on life then s/he can never be pleased by their partner. I do enjoy CW. I think I can enjoy her more but I'm going through something in my life that is taking away from that. Make sense?
Mark
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
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