Update on what's going on with me

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Update on what's going on with me
25
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 7:51pm

From my Myspace blog on November 6:


So it is these "little" moments in my life that really touch my heart and cause me to smile and/or cry.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 10:10pm
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with work. I'm glad to see you're taking the steps to correct that. I'm also happy to hear that you and CW are doing well. How long have you two been together now?
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Thanks to sophie.avas.mummy for my amazing sig!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 11:04pm

Mark -

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 11:23pm
I've been wondering about you. I love how you describe November 4th which was my dad 60th birthday and I got to give him the news that the man he voted for had won the election- that was so cool. Plus I videotaped my kids reacting to the news. That was so special to me.
I've been scared at work myself. This is a scary time. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 11:57pm

"I do have a slight concern that I am not turned on by her but I am focusing on what is good about the relationship rather than what is lacking."

I just wonder how CW would feel if she heard that sentiment?

Winter Alison

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 1:17am

CW and I started dating mid June. I would not tell CW that I am not turned on by her. What is the point to do that? This is my stuff and it is up to me to work on it myself. I work on being transparent and honest but also compassionate. Honesty for it's own sake does not serve any purpose. I look at what is the intention of my communication (and others').

We are good together sexually. I please her and she works on pleasing me. I love that we do that for each other. I'm not in my 20s or 30s or even 40s so being "turned on" is not as essential in the grand scheme of things in my view and life.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 6:35am

I suppose everyone has their own relationship priorities. I would want to know if my partner was not turned on by me. I feel like YOU deserve to be with a woman who rocks your world and turns you on and doesn't just try to please you...BUT DOES PLEASE YOU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 8:35am

Mark, I agree on that sentiment. My Dad is 63. He has a WONDERFUL woman in his life, smart, funny, loves him, loves US (my X step-mom of 23 yrs hated his children & was conivving & a horrid person), & she is SO good for him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 9:14am
I didn't realize that a man would stay with a woman that doesn't turn him on.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 10:23am

I want to clarify what "turns me on" means to me or not means to me. It does not mean that I am not attracted to her. What it does mean is that I don't lust after her when we are apart. I don't really think I have done that with any woman in my life.

Cute Widow IS cute and hence my nickname for her. She has qualities that I do find attractive such as her humor, her face, her sexual openness, her honesty, her caring, her youthful appearance, her intelligence. As I get to know her (coming on 6 months now), I feel our relationship continues to deepen.

Insofar what doesn't turn me on is trying to explain chemistry. It might be her body type or her reserved, intellectual demeanor or something else altogether. As I said, I don't look for what does not work for me, I see what does work for me.

Not being "pleased" takes two people for I own a part of that. An example (not saying this is me): if one partner is depressed or has low self esteem or has a negative view on life then s/he can never be pleased by their partner. I do enjoy CW. I think I can enjoy her more but I'm going through something in my life that is taking away from that. Make sense?

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 10:52am
Although, I don't know what to think about the attraction thing, because I"m somewhat on the fence about it, I do agree with other life's issues taking away from happiness of being with a partner. I can understand that! You have to be ok with yourself, to have other things in your life fall into place. If you are unhappy with your life, it will affect other things around you. Forcing happiness doesn't do it either. I have to get out of my funk, which isn't really a funk. I choose to put myself into this. I could get myself out, but sometimes I Just want a push from someone else, not me doing everything by myself ALL the freaking time.

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