Humor my pathetic arse...LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Humor my pathetic arse...LOL!
10
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 4:36pm

Have you ever let someone slip away to have them come back to you if/when circumstances were different?

 


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 4:46pm

Anything is possible........actually UK to So Cal would be

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 4:56pm

Actually, yes.

Barry and I dated about 5 years ago. It was a strange situation that didn't work well for either of us (I was big into clubbing and actually didn't have a technical place to live. I stayed with friends always and kept most of my stuff in my car. He had just come out of a bad breakup with an abusive girlfriend). We went our separate ways, and I got married and had my son. I didn't pine for B when I was married even though I realized what a good thing I had with him. When Kurt and I divorced, I moved back in with my parents and pretty much secluded myself from most of the people I hung out with.

Fast forward a year; my friend Deb had moved to Chicago to practice law and she was going to come home over Easter and she wanted all the 'old gang' to come see her. Well, Barry and I both showed up because we were both friends with her. We got to talking, exchanged phone numbers, and set up a date. 2 years later we are engaged to be married and couldn't be happier. I love him, my son loves him, and he loves us both back.

To make a long story short I do believe that it's possible to meet the right person at the wrong time. When we first split I was sure I had lost the love of my life. It turns out I was kind of right - except I didn't lose him....we just had to wait for a better time.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 5:50pm

Oh yeah...lol.


We used to work together, became great, safe friends...totally platonic.

 


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 5:52pm

The right person at the wrong time.

 


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 6:03pm

I think it is wise and "grown up" of you to realize it is over and move on. Remember that the grass is always greener....we wish and regret for what "could have been".


I give him props for not playing you while with his girlfriend. He is being true to her and I respect that. I know it might hurt, but hoping or wishing they would split mean hoping that someone is going to get very hurt..likey both of them because they sound happy. There is a world of men out there! Let the new couple be....


I can sort of see this from the vantage point of his new gf. Because when I started dating BE he had someone who it did not work out with before me sort of come back and hang on to him. You may not be hanging on to him, but you still have feelings. This girl in BE's life was more attracted to BE whenever he was not paying her attention and she really wanted to "win" him over me. BE did as your friend is doing...he finally kept her at a distance which is the only healthy thing to do when you are in a committed relationship.


So I give you credit for knowing you have to move on. Don't let "what could have beens" take over your thinking. Keep looking elsewhere and Mr "available now" will be there.


pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 6:09pm

Thanks, and I agree.

 


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 6:25pm

The reason I fell for him is because he is a good guy...and I am finally ready for that in my life.

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 6:30pm

Sometimes though when it's the right time, that person is no longer the right guy. Life is tricky that way.

I'm sorry that things worked out the way they have for you, but I think in the long run if you are supposed to be with this guy a way will present itself. With Barry and I, we had absolutely no contact for 5 years, then when we saw each other again it all just felt like it clicked. It sounds silly, but that's honestly how it felt.

Thanks for the congrats; I'm really glad it worked out too, lol!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 6:32pm
I think in order for a relationship to begin it has to be the right person at the right time for both people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sat, 11-22-2008 - 12:31am
My high school sweetheart and I got back together during my divorce. It was nice but we both knew I think that it couldn't be permanent so we did split up when I decided to move here. Of course the one really great thing that came from that was Natalia. Sometimes when you get what you want it isn't really what you want anymore is kind of the point of my story.
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