Missed Opportunity?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Missed Opportunity?
8
Tue, 11-25-2008 - 1:43pm

I am not actively trying to date so this could be chalked up as missed opportunity due to my own un-readiness in the beginning or simply not meant to be. Last spring I was on eharmony and was communicating with this very nice looking man. He wanted to meet but I put it off and dropped off the site to take care of issues with my ex. (btw ladies this was one ya'll really liked) Well, since then he moved to SC but found me on facebook. We communicated a bit; but SC is two states away even though he is back here often for family. I was still up for contact because who knows how situations might change.

Well a couple of weekends ago he called to say he was in Richmond and wanted to know if I was available to meet up. I didn't get the message until Monday so I emailed letting him know I missed his message and when would he be back up. He said around Thanksgiving and he would let me know for sure. I am thinking great we can make plans to meet then.

Low and behold yesterday his profile status changed to in a relationship. Where did that come from??? The only thought that comes to my mind is that he has been seeing this lady (also in Richmond) and was on the fence about committing. I think he just wanted to finally meet me just to see. I checked out her page and she is pretty and seems like a great match for him. The only thing that bothers me is this happened to me before. Is it common for men to do this before they commit? I don't want to be the "see if the grass is greener girl".

Also is it normal that I feel a little bummed by this? Obviously the guy had some interest or intrigue to track me down months later on facebook but circumstances were never right. I also never gave any effort because the reality is timing has not been right for me. What I am saying is that I know this is fine but I think it may have just given me the jolt I need to get back out there and stop putting off til tomorrow when it comes to dating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Tue, 11-25-2008 - 1:56pm

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Tue, 11-25-2008 - 8:38pm

Hmm, interesting. I can completely understand you thinking you missed something...but maybe it's really just more of

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 11-25-2008 - 8:51pm

Hmmm... I think you're bummed cause it is a reminder that you're not pushing yourself to date. You took a much needed hiatus to deal with your ex and get through that time of your life...

If you're not interested in doing the online thing, then you have to put the word out to your friends that you're looking, and you have to get out to expose yourself to men :)

Of course, you won't want to hang out with that group of girls that ditched you on the invite by the cute guys that last time... If I lived near ya, I'd head out with you!

Winter Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 11-25-2008 - 9:10pm

"but maybe it's really just more of a reminder that you need to be open to meeting/dating new people moving forward"

That is what I am getting from this. It is not about him finally settling on a relationship but about me beating around the bush and hemming and hawing. I wasn't ready before but I am now. With him being in SC, he was really more on the backburner for me so I am happy for him. It just sheds light that the world is moving on while I sit here. Time to get off my butt.

Where in VA are you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 11-25-2008 - 9:17pm

Yep the hiatus was needed but time to get up and do something about it. Online while good for a distraction wasn't really for me. I have a great feeling about the next 6 weeks. There are a number of social outings that I will be able to attend while my son is visiting his Dad and grandparents. I plan to take the opportunity to mingle and seek out new people.

As for the friends that ditched me. Turns out they drove 45 minutes that same night to meet up and hook up at the guys house. Guess it is a good thing they didn't call me after all because I would have said h@$$ no! And then they wonder why they never heard from them again. I am not so worried about those girls; I have been getting better at being social and friendly. I think it has a lot to do with the 200 lb weight that is finally off my back :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 11-26-2008 - 8:52pm

Could just let it go and say nothing but since he is on my friend list I sent him this. I mean I see his updates and posts.

So I guess you won't be making it up here this week afterall; no worries. Congratulations to you but don't be a stranger! :) ~ Savannah

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Wed, 11-26-2008 - 11:07pm
I'm in Fairfax :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 4:36pm
Sometimes that is what it takes. It is a bummer though. Still you did what you needed to do and now when a great man does come along you'll be ready.
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