WOW! I have had a lot of pain pent up...
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| Wed, 11-26-2008 - 11:25am |
Last night, I received a text message from the guy that dumped me over 4 months ago. I was having a lot of issues and bleeding when he broke up with me. I had told him that I was scared it was going to be bad news again and he couldn't handle the idea that I might have uterus cancer again and so he left me high and dry. I was really devastated by it and one of the main reasons I kind of quit dating until I met RF. Then even with RF, he was close to what I wanted, but I didn't realize until last night, how much I was still hurting from the guy (we'll call him JO (jerk off)).
I didn't realize that I really fell in love with that guy. He was amazing and I really cared about him and I didn't want to admit much to the board, but him leaving really devastated me. He never wanted to know if it was a scare or if I turned out ok or anything. He just never ever contacted me again. UNTIL last night.....
I got a text message that said: I hope you are doing well.
I didnt' know right away who it was, because I deleted his number (to not be tempted), but my gut was pretty sure it was him. I wrote back to ask who it was. He wrote back: don't worry about it.
I knew. I just knew, so I did fall asleep but woke up last night and this morning tossing and turning. I checked my cell phone calls this morning from June and sure enough, it matched his number. :(
Can I just tell you, I cried. I cried so hard and it just hurt so much. I couldn't stop. I was hurt, angry furious and sad. The tears keep streaming down everytime I think of how he just left me alone and then has the odacity to contact me after 4 months of NOTHING. Not knowing if I was ok or not, nothing.
We had such an incredible time together and we were so close and then boom.. gone.
Of course I did the stupid thing and I sent him and email this morning.
It was pretty short paragraph, but I told him what I needed to. It was stupid maybe, but he left me to wallow in all this fear and unknowning. I was so upset that he opened this can of worms in my life again after 4 months that I just let it out.
My eyes are puffy, but I feel better. I just can't believe that I let him get to me like this. It made me realize how hurt I was by him and how much I really cared about him.

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I'm sorry you were hurting so much and crying.
Aw Cat (((((((HUGS)))))))
I'm sorry that we can't give you real hugs on this thing...
You know you're better off without someone like that in your life, but it doesn't make the pain any less.
awwwww ((((HUGS)))) Cat
What a total Jerk - tho I know you could think of MUCH stronger words.
mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16
(((HUGS)))
How can someone have SUCH a nerve????? What made him think it was ok to contact me after ALL of that? Knowing he has NO clue if I am ok or not after 4 MONTHS. And you know what? I didn't tell him if I was or not. I left it. I just told him he was such a disgusting, fraud, creep and jerk off for ever thinking it was ok to contact me again after leaving me the way he did. That I hoped to God if something ever like that happens to him, he'll remember what he did, how it must have felt to feel the way I did. That when he needs someone the most, he'll hopefully lay ALL ALONE frightened and not knowing. No one caring if he was alive or dead.
Isn't that AWFUL that I would wish that? But that is how he made me feel. Something worse could have happened. I cried in his arms one night because I was so scared I would have to go through the entire battle again. What might happen to the kids, etc. He just held me until I fell asleep in his arms. Then he left. Gone.
Wow.. just wow. Good for you venting all that out.
I don't know what these men hope to accomplish by coming back. I mean Heartbreaker came back after 4-5 months.. is there something with that number? Of course he ran off again after a few weeks. Just goes to show that if they run off once, they'll run off again sadly enough.
I'm sorry Kat.. that has to just be horrible. Loved that you told him off though.. good for you.
I'm so sorry that the jerk did that & that it makes you feel that way.
I think the holidays have a tendency to make people feel more sentimental & do things like that.
You know, I'm GLAD that you did respond to him with how you were feeling and how what he did left behind for you!
I'm so sorry. What a sucky thing for him to send a message and then not reveal himself. What is up with that? Sometimes something can really trigger all sorts of weird feelings that you thought you didn't have or that you were over. I can't even imagine what was going through his head as he sent a text, considering how he dumped you. Drunk dialing?
I'll be over with the bottle of wine...ok, it will take a few days, and I don't even know where you live, but you sound like you could use some more venting.
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