protecting DD, need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
protecting DD, need advice
4
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 8:20am

so i have a question for all you single mothers who are actively dating. figured this would be a good place to ask. how do you protect your children from being hurt during the dating process?

My DDs father and I were together for 9 years but separated during the pregnancy. he stoped seeing DD over a year ago, she is 3 years old now.

GymBoy and I were dating for 2 years and recently broke up. We never lived together but after about 9 months of dating he started hanging around the house 2 to 3 times a week and we did family type things about 2 times a month. I brought DD around his family and she formed a strong bond with him. well he has not been around since the end of october and although i am very sad for my loss i am even more heartbroken for DDs loss. she is so young that she does not understand why he isnt around. i did what i thought were all the right things, waited to introduce until it was serious, took time getting them to know each other, ect. but the relationship didnt work and now DD has been abonded again due to my failed relationships.

as i start dating again i dont want to but her through it again but ultimatly i know that she will have to meet anyone i want a serious relationship with and that it may or may not work out in the long run, so how do you guys handle it so your children arent hurt?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 9:26pm

Sweetie, you did everything right. I am absolutely one who says you absolutely SHOULD WAIT. & 9 months is a great time frame. Some would say never intro them, unless you are engaged, but i cant imagine getting to that point with someone & not knowing how they are around your kids.


but the relationship didnt work and now DD has been abonded again due to my failed relationships.


She isnt abandoned. She's young. She likely wont remember this later in her years. Its ok. She was loved. THATS what matters. Think of how many kids lose good freinds to moving. My town is full of navy families. SO many times dd

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 9:53pm
thank you so much for putting it into prospective. i never thought about it like a friend moving or such. thanks for making me feel like what i am doing is okay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 10:12pm

I agree with Rebecca- you have done everything right.


At 3 years old I don't think she feels abandoned- I think it's just out of her routine a little so she is asking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Tue, 12-02-2008 - 12:24am
You did everything right. My current man has not met my kids yet and we've been together six months. Sometimes you do everything right and it still doesn't work sweetie. Do it just like you did.
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