QOTW: Kids and Expectations/Guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
QOTW: Kids and Expectations/Guilt
22
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 12:46pm

Are your kids old enough to understand that money is tighter as a single parent? As for the Holidays... what are your kids expectations? Are they understanding of your special circumstances?


Do you ever feel guilty? Sometimes I feel that if I had not gotten the divorce then DD would not have to sacrifice like she does. Lesser clothes, less things, than most of her friends. Does the guilt ever make you spend more than you should on the Holidays for your children? I know I do that sometimes.

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 12:58pm

Interesting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 1:12pm
I try to explain to my kids every year that things are tough and that I can't afford as much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 1:27pm

Does the guilt ever make you spend more than you should on the Holidays for your children?


It has in the past.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 2:23pm

Funny you should bring it up...


We explained that things are tight for everyone, even Santa but that they would still get gifts.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 2:41pm
I Love that idea Cat.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 5:12pm

I am very blessed with the children I have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 5:16pm

Ugh...this is something I really need to

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 5:21pm

As you often do, you just brought it home for me again, Mark. I would like to incorporate that mindset into my usual thinking. My DD is wonderful. One thing I forgot to mention is that SHE does not expect or even ask for things. Rarely. Its ME that puts the expectations on myself to give her "things". But then I read something like what you just said at reminds me that "things" are not going to make my DD happy and well adjusted. Rather it is my attitude and willingness to love her encourage her through her life.


Thanks for the thoughtful post, Mark.

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 5:27pm

I can really relate to those feelings. I think that's why I began the thread.

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 5:38pm

I agree on volunteering to let our children know how well off they are.


I look for volunteer opportunities that I can share with my children throughout the year.

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