How do I get past this
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How do I get past this
| Sun, 12-14-2008 - 11:49pm |
I think that I have mentioned that CK has a female friend here.
| Sun, 12-14-2008 - 11:49pm |
I think that I have mentioned that CK has a female friend here.
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I understand exactly how you feel and would feel the same or similar. EMT has a bunch of female friends and is friends with his ex wife and ex girlfriend and I just dont want to be part of it. But recently I had to for him. He invited me to his work Christmas party. It was a dinner with a bunch of people I didnt know. Not my sort of thing. But I had to suck it up and go and be happy about it for EMT.
So my advice is to just suck it up (sorry I cant think of anything more gentle to say) and spend Christmas with him and his friend. For all you know you and her might hit it off and get along really well. This could be an opportunity for a new friendship. But at any rate it sounds important to him so for him and your relationship I would just do it and try to have a good attitude about it.
Laurie
Please note:
We have already met.
I think that everyone has a responsibility to create new memories and have some couple time in a realtionship around the holidays. This IS generally going to mess around with some of the other traditions you are used to but that comes with the territory and joy and ( darn it!) privilege of being in love with someone and having that in your life. You have to scoot other stuff around so I dont see why he isnt totally happy ( giddy even) to do that for you, plural. I understand that he has this important friendship and I would be feeling the same way you do about it. I think your suggestion about him seeing her on Christmas evening after you have had your together time is great. Anything else I would be upset with honestly. He should be excited thrilled and involved in forming new memories with YOU this Christmas. JMHO obviously but if someone hangs on too tight to every other tradition that they are used to and doesnt make room for new ones what kind of message does that send you? It would make me think they didnt really appreciate how special and wonderful it was for them to have met ME and have US in their life. Think of how many people are just craving love and their mystery special someone that they havent met yet each holiday season? We have all been there and some still are of course - I myself have spent quite a few Christmases with my son single and kind of teary daydreaming what it would be like to have a true love back in our lives again for the holidays and now that we have that, if he insisted on keeping all old traditions and just wanted me to tag along while he visited friends and siblings, I would freak out honestly. There needs to be some couple time to make room for the creation of new traditions as far as I am concerned.
Hats off to you, SweetK for being understanding to CK in his wating to include S. To be totally honest, I don't know if I would be so understanding and compromising. I would tend to want to have my bf all to myself (selfish, right?) or at least only with friends and familiy that we have in common. I guess that the part that would annoy me would be that she is single and they share a history that you were not in. Its sweet that he wants make this all about the two of you and the present. But I don't see how thats possible when she will be there. Sorry- I wish I was more encouraging. I just know how
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