answering questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
answering questions
25
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 3:36pm

Abe is sleeping good so I have time to "journal" here.


SS will be back on Friday.

JH

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 3:54pm

Isn't Abe 17? Does he have a say in where he spends his time? If his dad won't let him see you can't Abe just pack it up and come home?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 3:56pm
Oh my god....first of all my very first thought was how lucky you are that this ex of yours is an ex because he is an A$$ and it sounds like he and his wife are perfectly suited to one another. She needs hand holding while your son is in the hospital? What is wrong with her? And the fact that he cant keep her in line is NOT your problem. You have bigger things to handle than that and he should sooooo know better. Also, you are completely correct that if the 11 yr old is stressed out ( rightfully so!) and acting out a bit, a healthy dose of compassion is in order - not a list of demands for the perfect apology! She basically sounds like a piece of work and he sounds like he cant handle her so he needs everyone else to do right so that he doesnt have to deal with her unhappiness. TOO DARN BAD is my reaction to that.
I think you have been so strong and have done so great around all of this. I am so thankful that your son is doing so much better and when I say "nobody loves our kids like we do" I mean us MOMS and I dont think there are many who can dispute this. You should be able to see your son as much as you want after everything you have been through and he needs that too. The heck with the new wife. She is not his mother and he could have died in that car accident. He has been through an emotional rollercoaster I am sure and he needs his mom there as much as you need to see his face. It is too bad that your ex cares more about keeping the peace with his new whenchish wife than he does his own son's needs or the healing of his family from a real ordeal - real ordeal NOT being sassed by an 11 yr old ( please!) but a car crash, thoughts of mortality, adrenalin filled weekend and trying to find health and center again! Again - what an A$$.
I am so mad for you - I sincerely hope that makes you feel better. You are in the right on EVERY FRONT.
BIG HUGS coming your way....
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 3:57pm

Are you serious!!!????

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 4:11pm

I will be cut and pasteing some of your valid points to an email to be sent to him later...keep it coming!

JH

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 4:12pm

Hang in there Jen, youve been through he$$ and back this week. Tell them both to go scratch and stay focused as youve been. Your kiddos are lucky to have you in ther corner...sending more PPT your way and let me know when you want the FLipFLopPosse to giddy up and get to smacking!


Hang in there...(((((HUGS)))))


M

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 4:31pm

How SELFISH can that woman BE? & how WHIPPED is your X?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 5:09pm

I am glad to hear all the good news- especially great that he will be coming home so soon.


Also what great neighbors- and that's exactly what I would wish for either of my boys in a similar situation- a nice, fun, busy house to take their mind off of

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 5:22pm

First, I am glad to hear of your son's improvement and my heart goes out to you for all you have to deal with right now. When I read what you posted about your ex's rant regarding his son and his wife, it made my blood boil. He would have gotten a verbal tongue lashing at least from me. I am glad you stood up to him. Still, it is most likely the stress coming out. He is surely feeling it too and handled himself poorly.

There is a lot of cause for high tension with everyone right now because we all deal with trauma in different ways. His wife's feelings may have been hurt but now is not the time to focus on that of all things. Your son is an 11 yr old child. He is watching his world turn upside down while this is going on around him. He is very likely scared, upset, and is looking to his parents for love and reassurance right now. As hard as it is as a parent, I imagine it is even scarier for a child who feels helpless in the situation. For your ex to bring him back to you stating "he is your problem now" was not just insensitive, it was hurtful and not all helpful for the situation. Please give DS11 extra hugs from me.

This is also a time where pride, resentment, selfishness needs to be let go for the greater good which is Abe's healing and well being. Would he expect to be kept from his son after this? Are you denying him the right to visit his son right now because it is not "his time" and "it would be stressful" to have him around? No, because in time of need it is important for all family to be there.

I pray for peace for you and your family and a speedy recovery for Abe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 5:23pm

:-)

JH

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 5:23pm

Wow.......I'm speechless. DS 11's "dad" is more concerned about the new wife feelings? Are you serious?? DS11 almost lost his brother, dealing with him being in the hospital. You think he just might be entittled to a bit of acting out?? Geez. I'm amazed at his mentallity. Too bad he's so whipped by the wife. His sons need him and he's acting like a CHILD. Thank God you are the rock of love and sensibility

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