Is anyone not having more children?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Is anyone not having more children?
10
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 4:03pm

Hello Ladies,


I am 29 and the men that I meet are usually childfree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 5:32pm

Hi and welcome-


I think there is a major advantage to dating men who already have children. Then there is not such an urgency to begin a family. They just seem to understand everything much more than men without kids when it comes to single parents and dating.


Personally, I'm close to 40 and although I would not mind having another child, I don't foresee that. My bf had a vastectomy years ago. And I'm fine with that. Even though he did say that had would have loved to have kids with me.


I think if you seek out men who are already single parents you'll be happier and more successful finding someone who is compatible to your future outlook of not having more children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 11:00pm

I'm in the same boat- I don't want more children. Luckily the man I'm dating never wanted his "own" kids, and is ok with my ds- more fun at 9 than they are as babies :)

I think the best thing is to be upfront about it to the men you're dating that you're not looking for more children.

Winter Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 11:21pm
Hi camilionag, I am 45, single parent, and I am not currently dating anyone right now. I would like to meet a special man again and get married. I am open to more kids, you never know, you could miss out on a wonderful man who has a child under 18 years. Also, I think it's much harder for a man who has never had children, they don't understand the roles as a parent and how to deal with children having their moments all the way around. When both parties have children they can then relate to each other better on what kids are all about. I am sure you know from your experience as a mom. It's really up to you, I would suggest you weigh out the benefits of having more children or not. You can also go with the flow of things and see what happens.

Anna


Anna

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 11:37pm
You might want to raise the age of the men you are dating. I am currently dating a man who one day wants children. Therefore we are a for right now. FWB. We have been doing this sense march of 2007. being 40 and 5 kids i do not want kids though I seem to get these younger guy like early 20s that dont seem to get they ar way to young. Anyway...back to you........try going for an older man. Around 40. They either do not want to have kids but love kids or they have kids. And they seem to be almost grown up for a man LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 12:10pm

Could you see me waving my hand in the air from where you are??? I am 44 yrs old, with a DS18 almost 19, and a DD16. I made the decision 16 yrs ago of NO MORE KIDS! I have been dating CM for 1.75yrs and he was on the fence about more kids when we met, but is totally fine without having more. Between us we have 4, the 2 youngest being 16. I just can't see myself starting over at this point! Although my dr thought he could make kids happen for me if I had a compelling reason to want more.

As for how to tell someone you dont want anymore kids?? I did OLD when I met CM, and that was a part of my profile. I had indicated that NO, I didnt want anymore kids. Obviously if you meet someone at a party, you probably dont want to get into a discussion of having kids, but as you progress in dating, I think it should be brought up and made known. Especially if one or both has strong feelings one way or another. By the time you get to be my age, most men either have kids or don't want them anymore.

Good Luck, and remember, the most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open!

~b~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 12:21pm
I personally don't want more children and had surgery to prevent it. When I got back into dating I made sure to not date men that want more kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 12:32pm

" By the time you get to be my age, most men either have kids or don't want them anymore."

My fiancee is 46 and he told me the other day that up until about a year ago he thought for sure he was going to grow old completely alone. He has also said that if I didn't want (more) children so badly he'd be happy to not have any. So in my experience it is true that there are men out there who don't want (more) kids - you just have to find them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 12:35pm

No more kids for me!!!!

Jenn ~~~ mom to Ashley & Elliott ~~~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 2:15pm
I am 29 and I have four daughters and I am dating a man who is 37 with no kids and neither of us wants any more children. I would say raise the age as well because older men without kids tend to be more okay with not having any.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 4:52pm

I don't want more children.