Not Missing Her

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Not Missing Her
19
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 1:38pm

Just sharing some meanderings and reflections on what is going on in my relationship.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
In reply to: mhash
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 1:58pm

Thanks for sharing that, Mark.


I appreciate time alone as well, I'm somewhat of an introvert who needs alone time to recharge sometimes. Is CW more of an extrovert? Maybe she does recognize that feeling of needing space and solo time?


As for not "missing her" maybe that is difference in what missing each other means. Do you think you would miss her if she were to go away for a few months? Sounds like she values time with you more than you value or need time together. And that is not at all bad. You are entitled to have different needs. It sort of sounds like CW has the tendency to have you fill her up emotionally, and you're different because you self reflect or reach someone heart to heart in order to get emotionally filled up.


I'm curious.. does CW feel comfortable talking from the heart? You're very comfortable there and so it seems like you would be more attracted to and feel chemistry with someone who reaches you in a deeply connected heart to heart way? I wonder if CW has a different way of reaching out and connecting.


In any case you sound comfortable and grounded with CW. Whether you are truly happy is up to you to determine. I hope so.. You deserve the best!

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: mhash
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 3:56pm

Mark,


I feel your struggles here.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
In reply to: mhash
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 9:29pm

Mark,

Wish I had the answers for you. I dont. But I have a feeling you will have your answers in time if you just continue the way you are going. Does that help? I can say I know how you feel because its how I feel about EMT. We have good times together but I dont miss him and I value my alone time and time with the kids. Maybe we are just used to being alone. I dont know. But the fireworks definitely arent there like they were with RG. I dont fully understand it either. The WOW factor just isnt there.

Thanks for keeping up advised.

Take it easy man.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
In reply to: mhash
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 9:56pm

Interesting reflection. I can understand that you enjoy your alone time. that could be the introvert part of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: mhash
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 10:14pm

"I'm sure you know all this already.. the point i'm making is i dont' see "missing that person" on the list."

Good point Loony.

Mark, I guess it's not how you feel when you're NOT with her- how do you feel when you ARE?

Winter Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2006
In reply to: mhash
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 6:50am

Well, here's my opinion and I hope you don't hate me for it.

It's a new thing to both of you and everybody handles things differently. Just because you don't miss her doesn't mean you don't like her. It's two different feelings, and since the whole thing may be new, you may just not have all those feelings about her yet.

I can't get over the whole 'I noticed that I don’t get a charge by being with her. I am comfortable with her and like talking with her on the phone but it’s not an excitement of connecting from the heart or spirit.' Is that what you are looking for, a charge? Excitement? Happiness? What exactly don't you get??

And I truly feel that if you don't think it's right, or if you don't feel what you want to feel or what you need to feel.. why bother?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: mhash
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 7:44am

I totally get that Marc and it helps me to read your post so that I can better understand my relationship with EG.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: mhash
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 10:13am

Mark,


I'm just wondering, are you happy with the relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
In reply to: mhash
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 11:26am

I'm afraid I have to agree with Alison here.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 1:56pm

PacSun:


Is CW more of an extrovert? Maybe she does recognize that feeling of needing space and solo time? No she is an introvert like me.

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