Does an emotional affair count as che...
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Does an emotional affair count as che...
| Thu, 07-10-2008 - 6:46am |
Does an emotional affair count as cheating?
- Yes, an affair is an affair
- Maybe
- No, since there is no physical sex
- Other
You will be able to change your vote.
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From On The Couch With Dr. Gail Saltz:
Emotional Affairs
Emotional affairs are on the rise because the ability to connect with more people outside of a marriage has increased. For example, there are more women in the workplace and, of course, the Internet has opened up new opportunities. Plus, it is also on the rise because many people convince themselves that as long as there is no sex, it's not an affair... but it is.
An affair really has to do with secrecy, deception of the partner and therefore betrayal. It also has to do with the amount of emotional energy you put into the new person that you therefore are not giving to your partner. Actually, most people are more disturbed by the breaking of trust than by sex in an affair.
To me, cheating is when I am more concerned about another person than I am my spouse. (No, kids don't count in that equation)
Keeping secrets, playing mind games with myself or my spouse is detrimental to my relationship.
cl of the Self-Injury
Co-CL for Stitcher's Niche
So often we try to rationalize actions and thoughts to make sense of a situation and to make the right decision.
I've done it so many times that I unknowingly mnimized my value system and what I really want for myself.
Just my 2 cents.
When anyone lies to us it hurts. It shakes the trust that had been established in the relationship, and we start to wonder whether there had been other things that were lies, and whether the good things were also illusions based on lies, too.
But it hurts especially when a significant other lies to us. And when they throw a "because I was afraid you couldn't handle it". That's another trust thing. And for me, if there is no trust, there can be no relationship. We can be acquaintances but no more. I need trust - which means that I need to trust my SO and my friends, but they also need to trust me. Not only in terms of truth, but also trusting that I will be able to deal with whatever comes my way, good and bad.
Shanali
~Girlfriend to Rook, Sister to Sariveli, Titi to Pedrito, Neftali, Maddie & Ian, and Mommie to my Kitty: Boobastis~
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