fine line to walk
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fine line to walk
| Tue, 05-02-2006 - 8:32pm |
I posted this on the secrets of married sex board and the nice folk suggested I seek guidance over here.... let me know if this is unreadable and ill re-post. thanks.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsecretsofm&msg=8686.1

My DH and I prefer to communicate via email, we can have our initial reactions and "wtf"s and everything privately, then come back to the discussion thinking a little more clearly... in person, I interpret every expression or gesture as a comment, so emailing and IMing works for us. If that is true for you as well, then by all means, communicate about it in any way that you are both comfortable.
I had to ask my DH a very difficult question- similar but different from what you are going through. All he said was, "let me think about it," and we didn't mention it again for two weeks. His final answer was a "yes" (the answer I'd hoped for), but there was no final decision until three weeks after I'd initially asked. He needed time to work through his thoughts, and I think that if I had hounded him (or if he even just FELT like I was hounding him), the end result could have been very different.
I would recommend that you let your wife know- in email or in person- that you will be ready to listen any time she wants to talk, and that until then, you will ask her how things are going maybe once a week or once every two weeks..... Give her all kinds of space. Otherwise she may rebel, if she's anything at all like my husband. :-)
"Infants have their infancy. And adults? Adultery."

-Dr. David P. Barash and Dr. Judith Eve Lipton,
"The Myth of Monogamy"
You need to watch
Hi there,
I would ask you something that somebody on the other board asked: