Anal question

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
Anal question
9
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 12:21pm

I've really been very curious lately and really interested..but still a bit scared. I enjoy being played w/in that area...and it gets me really worked up..then other times it just hurts and isn't right. Last week bf messed around in that area and it got me all worked up. I know my dh and gf do it which i'm happy they do because i've never been able to provide him w/the opportunity.

My issue is I don't think I could do it with Dh..he hurts me putting it in the correct place (lol) He is a little large and i'm afraid it would be too painful. My bf is of average size and there is no pain during sex as it is w/dh..I'd love to try w/bf but i'm not sure.

Is there any advice you can give as to should I work myself up? Just jump right in? Anything?

I must admit this has been ruined for me for years when my exh who was very mean and hateful just shoved it in one night forcing me to. I've never wanted that experience again....

but I need to work past it and with my interest heightened.....

any advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 3:46pm

My best advice is to take it slow. You control when and where, and how long. He may want to just shove it in, but you're the one that has to relax those muscles. Best way for us to do it early on was to do it on all 4's, and he's got to stay still, and you go back against him.

Sexuality.org has a lot of guides to help you with this. It's fun, enjoyable and who knows one of these days you may be able to take Dh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2006
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 4:07pm

lube, lube, and more lube!

You have to take things slow and make sure that all parts (finger or penis) that is trying to penetrate that area are heavily lubed up! Get some KY, Astroglide, or any other kind of lubrication and use it generously! Sometimes using a lubricated condom makes it a bit easier because it reduces the skin-to-skin friction...just make sure if you are using a condom you are not using oil-based lube!

And did I mention to use plenty of lube?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2006
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 4:17pm
Lube and going slow are the best tips you can get. We like ElbowGrease but its just a personal preference. Over time and with lots of practice you should have no problems even with DH. Just look at some porn ans see how big those guys are to get an idea that its possible. Remember to be relaxed and not nervous too. Hope you enjoy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 4:22pm
I sort of had a similar first-time anal experience as you did, although my husband wasn't being mean or purposely forceful. It was one of those crazy spur-of-the-moment ideas (I believe margaritas might have been involved) and one of us said something like "hey, let's try anal sex tonight!" (again those damn margaritas!). So, without much lube, my husband quickly thrust his entire penis in, and OWWW! I felt the most terrible pain. He immediately stopped and pulled himself out just as quickly (double OWWW!). I was pretty certain I would NEVER want to try anal sex again. Fast forward a few years later and I meet my boyfriend who happens to love anal sex. Luckily, I was still curious (I think my husband is scarred for life from the first time because he's never wanted to try it again). The number one thing to having an enjoyable experience is to RELAX and take it very slow, and use lots of lube. It sounds like you're off to a good start since you have already indulged in some anal play (my husband and I never even did that prior to the one-time painful thrust!). My boyfriend and I sort of worked up to full anal penetration. Each time we would take things a little further with the anal play and he would occasionally slowly insert his penis until it started to feel uncomfortable for me. This was good because it got me used to being able to relax more. And by the way, he's pretty well-endowed which I thought could make anal sex more difficult, but as long as I'm really relaxed, it's usually fine. Sometimes I'll have to ask him to stop thrusting for a few seconds if I start to tense up. I think a lot of it is psychological, as if you know something isn't really supposed to go in the opposite direction there! When you feel you are ready, I would suggest, as many others have on this board, to lightly push (as if you're trying to have a bowel movement). This will relax your sphincter muscle so his penis will be able to penetrate you more easily. Use LOTS of lube, and have him start off very slow. I really enjoy it now and am so glad I gave it another try! Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 3:20am

Great advice, everyone.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 7:15am

thanks for all the information everyone..very helpful!

I will let you know when and if I decide..
and when and if it happens!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 12:25pm

Hi dolphin,


My H and I had never done it before with others, but when we were dating we started exploring anal

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 12:35pm
ofcourse I would talk to him..and it has been mentioned before and he did say it might bother him so I plan to talk to him about it again before I even mention it to bf. I just want to make sure it's what I really want before I go making plans. I would hope that dh could be okay w/it since he does it w/his gf.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 1:03pm

It sounds like he'd probably be okay with it, which is good!