My date (not with DH either)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
My date (not with DH either)
18
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 7:21pm
Ok, I post, well not often. I did post about a married man I work with (I am married, but we are open)
well, this married man (j we will call him) his wife went to floriday for 2 weeks...
OK, i will be honest, I really didnt expect anything at all to happen, we flirt and stuff (he tries to kiss me constantly at work, but I only let him kiss my cheek) well, Friday he dropped his wife off at the airport and came in to work and asked if I wanted to go out later.. I said sure. We had another co worker with us... (in the begining) we went out to a pub and spent a few hours... Then the other guy went home and it was just us. We drove around for a while (how juvenile... but he does have a minivan with no back seats...) OK, well... we parked and talked for a long time. He kissed me once and I pulled away and had a little talk. I dont agree with cheating... I really dont. I wouldent want to be cheatd on, I wouldent cheat (but dh and i are open, so its not a prob) so, I told him that his wife would not appreciate this, he said that he wont tell her, I said they always find out eventually.. and he finally agreed. I said, I really like him and if this is what he wants to do, he is an adult.. he can make those decisions.... he agreed.
I just dont want him to loose his life and act like he had no clue this would happen, KWIM?
Ok, so we went back to makin out and I said goodnight and went home.
no farther than that.
OH, he also said since it wasnt sex it wasnt really cheating, I said cheating is anything your SO considers cheating...
what do you guys/gals think?
OH GOD do I want to see him again, and would go all the way (i am soooo turned on right now thinking of it)
what do I do????? You guys gotta help me
Liz

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 8:35pm

OH, he also said since it wasnt sex it wasnt really cheating, I said cheating is anything your SO considers cheating...
what do you guys/gals think?


To me, if my SO went out and made out with someone, regardless of whether or not it led to sex, it's cheating.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 8:40pm

If you don't want his wife to end up being hurt, then you need to stop this where it is now, regardless of what you want.

Don't you think, though, its his responsability to decide for himself? He is the one in the relationship with his wife, and he is an adult who can make his decisions.. KWIM?

I am not just arguing with you, I argue with myself about it.
I dont just think about me, but I woudlent want anyone else governing my consiense(sp?) either. I am adult and I have to answer for me... regardless of who else is involved. If my SO considered what I was doing cheating, then I would have to answer for that, and whomever I cheated on him with would be rather blameless, as I am adult and can make my decisions.

Liz

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2006
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 9:01pm


O K Liz,

I’m 22, married 3 years, my husband and I share an open relationship, both of us are involved with another married couple where all are very well pleased. We find dating another person to be quite a lot of fun, my husband dates the other woman, I date the other man. Open sex is a big part of our relationship anytime we choose, sometime as a couple with the other person, sometime as a 3-some, sometime a 4-some.

Have you considered talking with your husband about this, having the other guy talk with his wife, if so, and all approve, bingo, you’re all in for a lot of fun? If not, don’t do it, all of you have too much to lose, especially if you have children. Good Luck………..

Loni

Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 9:46am
I would tread very carefully.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 11:34am

Hi Liz,


I'll answer you honestly from the heart, I can tell that you're looking for honest thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 9:53pm
I thank you all for your input.
Its a little more complicated, as I am sure most of you can guess.
*sigh*
I hate being an adult
Liz
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 1:04pm

I said cheating is anything your SO considers cheating...


I agree with you 100%

--


martinisnsushi - living the good life since 1963


CL Redbook "Get Inside His Head"

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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 5:36pm
How well would you wear the "Other Woman" label?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 9:40pm
I have never been the "other woman" so i dunno...
:( it still sucks!!!!
I will have to be lookin for another, available guy
Liz
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 2:01am
It is great that your DH and you have an open relationship. However there a certain things that I just do not do: playing with electrical lines while stading knee deep in water or mowing my lawn with a toe nail clipper. In any event what I am trying to say is you are heading for disaster with this one. Granted both of you are adults but I do not think your DH would appreciate being woken up at 3:00 AM by a psychotic wife wielding an axe because she just found out her husband selpt with you. Not to mention being the big grape on the grapevine because people at work found out about the escape. Sorry for all of the euphamisms here but I would not proceed. Great friend excellent sexaul tension but not worth the risk.

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