a bad judgment call
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| Mon, 05-15-2006 - 1:42am |
I really don't think this is the right board for this, so I apologise. But I don't really know who to talk to about it, and I figured here there wouldn't be as many people being harsh and critical.
So I made a really bad decision today. I'm a student. I'm poor. I answered an ad looking for a nude model. It wasn't porn, it wasn't even overly explicit. Just me prancing around a studio in the buff. But now that I did it, I feel really cheap and ashamed. I really regret it and there's nothing I can do. There's going to be naked pictures of me bouncing around the internet and I guess that's my punishment. It was not worth a cent of that money.
Plus, I kept it all from my boyfriend. He would freak and probably break up with me if he found out I did it. He's pretty traditional that way - not that I blame him. I haven't lied to him outright, but it was a lie of omission. I love him. We've been together for four years. And now the rest of my life I'm going to live in fear that he's going to stumble across the photo one day. I know someone's going to say that I ought to just fess up, but I am too afraid.
I just wish I knew how to reconcile to myself what I did. I mean, it's over. It's part of my life now. But I would give anything to have not done it and I know that I just have to accept that I made a poor decision.
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Not necessarily nude modeling, but just a bad decision you made that you just had to learn to accept?

Welcome to the board, starrfyshh.
"Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Not necessarily nude modeling, but just a bad decision you made that you just had to learn to accept?"
Hi starrfyshh,
I haven't had the same situation you had, but yes, I've made choices that I later on wished I hadn't made.
Everyone makes bad judgments. And/or pursues things they thought for some crazy reason would be good but turned out to be regrettable. I can't say whether or not to disclose to the bf -- it seems like there would be little upside in telling him. Lastly, take heart that there are so many pix of women on the internet that even if you took several hundred, the odds are infinitesimal of him ever running across one!
Plus, things happen for a reason. There must be *some* reason you wanted to do it. And that's OK too!
As a poor student myself,
Thanks for the thoughts and advice, ladies. You bring up good points.
If I were single, I would probably shrug it off really easily as a lesson learned, and even if the pictures surfaced one day, I might even be proud of it. I feel less cheap about it than I did when I posted.
But, I know my boyfriend will feel really hurt if/when I tell him. And that's what's making me feel awful. I guess I will have to tell him soon, but we're spending the summer apart due to our jobs, and it's not something I want to discuss over the phone.
I guess I have some thinking to do. Thanks again. :)
being 18 or 19 and a girlfriend and i asked 2 younger boys to disrobe for us.
We went to a secluded barn where we told them to strip and then masturbate
for us.i believe they were probably 16 at the time...so this was definately
not a good idea.Luckily they agreed it was fun for them too.