Impotence = divorce??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Impotence = divorce??
22
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 3:53am

Hi
I would be interested in knowing if women would seperate from their partners if they became impotent. Assume that it was incurable impotence that didnt respond to medication. The socially acceptable response would be that theres more to a relationship than sex, but I would like to know what females on the board really feel.

Im a guy, but if I were female, and in a marriage, I wouldnt leave him, but if he was my BF, I would. Thats just me.

Sammy

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Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 8:07am
I had a BF once who who had ED.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 8:38am
that is true. But would you want to spend the rest of your life getting alternate pleasure?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2006
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 11:53am
Hi Im going through something like that now NO I WOULD NOT LEAVE him but I would like to say that alternitve plesure is nice and all but there is just nothing like having the real deal what do you think if there was a third party there to help you with your needs and your guy was ok with that would it be cheating. when two pepole get married it is for better or worst but we are all human with needs but I dont think it is something to leave one for alternative sex is better then no sex at all
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 1:27pm

Since dh is older than me, he worries that ED is in our future.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 1:53pm

"I would be interested in knowing if women would seperate from their partners if they became impotent. Assume that it was incurable impotence that didnt respond to medication."


While it

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 9:15pm

I've been in a relationship where my partner had ED (he could get it up, but couldn't last long), and wouldn't admit that it was his problem.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2005
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 9:40pm
No I wouldn't leave him. There is always oral, and other ways of satisfying eachother.
I would be very unhappy that we couldn't be together that way anymore, but as long as we didn't let our sex life die just because of that I think we could stay happily married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2006
Wed, 05-31-2006 - 7:21am

"I've been in a relationship where my partner had ED (he could get it up, but couldn't last long), and wouldn't admit that it was his problem."

Oh boy, does that sound familiar. I had a bf like that once, too, only rather than not admit it was his problem, he made like I was his problem, being too much in need of sex, me, that is, so he was intimidated. Ack! It was horrible, humiliating. Went soft every time he tried to penetrate. No good at oral either, or manual stimulation. He was a virgin, too.

Did it break us up? You bet it did, because it invaded everything else. He became whiny, always wanting to try, same results all the time, I was supposed to make him work and penetrate, only every time I tried, he went soft, so it was all my fault again. And he made it clear to me it was my fault. Finally I had enough and realised it was also becoming an emotionally abusive relationship.

The thing is, when a man can't function to penetrate, it's way different on his self-esteem than when you talk with him about it as something that might happen one day or the other. How he feels when he's potent, and it's an abstract notion, and how he feels when it is real, and no longer abstract, man, there's a world of difference between the two.

I hope none of you have to face this, because my self esteem as a woman took some direct hits.

The upside of it was that I had met someone who made it clear that I WAS all right, I wasn't the problem, I was hot, and it gave me the self esteem I needed to put an end to the other relationship.

Fortunatly we weren't married, so maybe my experience isn't what you wanted to know or were asking about.

Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 05-31-2006 - 7:56am
welcome to the board!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Wed, 05-31-2006 - 2:48pm
Friends of ours are divorcing over this. It's such a shame. My husband's co-worker who does NOT have ED but tried viagra? Oh gosh, he had an erection for about 6 hours. ((ouch))

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