A bit strange...
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| Sun, 06-04-2006 - 6:00pm |
Hi ladies...I really don't know what to make of this.
I've been talking to someone I met 8 months ago...the relationship is mostly long distance for now. So we have a lot of phone sex until he moves here for good. We're both into taboo fantasies e.g. being "cousins", him being my step-dad or me being his step-mom etc. I was literally on the phone with him 20 minutes ago and he said something that made me uncomfortable. He regularly e-mails me pictures of him and his family and I just saw another picture of his 2yr old nephew. So I was telling him how cute I thought he was and that we should babysit him together to see if we'd like being parents (my idea wasn't even totally serious). A little before this point in the conversation he had been turned and I could tell he wanted to have phone sex but I just kinda ignored him and still just wanted to talk. (My paragraph probably sounds so convoluted, I'm sorry!) So he was in the phone-sex frame of mind and I was talking about something different (his nephew) and you know how when men are in the mood they can't just shake it...everything they hear turns sexual. So he said yeah ok we'll babysit him my aunt won't mind (his family loves me) then he said we'll have sex in front of him. and i was like what the hell. I asked him why he said it he was like "i dunno i'm sorry..i thought it would be kinky." I explained to him that i'm sensitive when it comes to children (didn't tell him it was mostly because I was molested by my cousin when I was five) and I told him i'd call him back.
I'm not sure if i'm overreacting because of my past. I've been known to do that, like when my dad would sit in the usual "guy position" with his hands between his legs/in his crotch I'd freak out. Or if it actually is something I should be concerned about and not talk to this guy again. He's a really sweet guy, twenty years old..*about* my age, VERY good-looking, popular with the ladies..loves his family, goes to school, all-around nice guy. I don't know why any of that matters but I guess I'm jsut trying to paint a picture.
I'm so sorry my writing may have been confusing, I would greatly appreciate any feedback, thank you very much :)

My first thought is to let it slide, it might be just a dumb remark made without thinking. But then the thought process kicks in and the red flag went up. Your flag is up, or else you wouldn't have written to us. People say dumb things and often there is some reason behind it. Then again, we all have thoughts and many of them are very taboo, if we don't act on them, then it's considered okay by society.
Give the guy a chance.
(PS- I totally understood your post, it wasn't too convoluted.)
Hi, itheshrine.
Thank you so much to both of you.
One of my very good friends came over tonight and she's even usually very strict and unforgiving with peoples' idiosincrasies and she even said..."no don't think he's a weirdo or sick in the head...he's just young and wants to say something to shock you cause he knows you like taboos." I was already kinda thinking that but i guess I needed to hear it.
But jazznpercy you are right in saying my red flag went up and that's why I posted this. He felt awkward after I asked him why he said that so I know he won't say anything like that again, but I will keep an eye out like you suggested. And to answer your question, our fantasies are usually normal-taboo where...where he's my 20 yr old step-son or I'm his 18 yr old step-daughter. There have never, in no way been children a part of our fantasies. That's too terrifying to even imagine.
To me it just mostly seems like he's young and unaware of the meaning of what he said. As compared to me, the extreme opposite, who has witnessed first-hand what what he said could mean in the real world.
Thank you both very much for sharing your time and insight with me!