Just Curious...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Just Curious...
11
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 6:58am

This question came up on another board, and it got me thinking, so I decided to throw it out here...why is it men (usually!) have no problem with watching their wife/girlfriend with another woman, but it is SUCH a taboo (or arouses such jealousy) when the situation is reversed and the threesome becomes their wife/girlfriend, themselves, and another MAN?

Is is the old homophobe thing? Is it fear of coming up "short"? (No pun intended!)

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Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 8:51am
I don't think there is a simple answer.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 9:20am

I think your premise is entirely wrong. In fact, many, many, men get off on the idea (or the actuality) of watching their wife being taken by another man. You can find many threads on these boards which discuss this as well as hundreds of Internet sites devoted to so-called "hot wives" and/or cuckolding (ourhotwives.org is the outgrowth of a site which has been active for a good many years, for example).

For me, well, I wouldn't mind watching my wife get it on with another woman but seeing her make love to another man has been my dream for years. I have encouraged her without success. Oh well...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 10:23am
I'm afraid I won't be of any help either. My DH and I have had many MFM threesomes and he's never been jealous. Now if I could talk him into a FMF threesome that would be nice...to say the least. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 11:53am

Lil M is right. Yes, everyone and every situation is different, and of course, as when discussing anything sexual, it's important to distinguish between what one fantasizes about doing and what one would actually enjoy doing, but, at bottom, human males are wired and reared to compete, ultimately, for females. I mean, men still kill each other over women with alarming frequency (whereas I've never been able to generate sufficient interest to get women to even pull each other's hair over me, let alone reconcile with passionate caresses once they've realized there's enough of me to go around . . . but I digress . . . ). We also have more than a passing interest in whose genes we're gonna be putting through college someday. So it's not surprising that the less evolved of us have some trust issues when it comes to a MFM party.

On the other hand, two women is, well, TWICE as many women! Yeeha!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 2:48pm

Twice as nice...lol. So maybe it would be "twice as nice" with two guys?!? Correct me if I'm wrong, but it all boils down to the "gene pool". All right...I'll conceed that point. Women carry the babies, they never have to wonder if it's their child...

The competition thing now...I've seen girls damn near killing themselves for some fool man. I'm not sure it's limited to males. But, this is getting interesting...please continue...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2006
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 10:22pm

As a male, for me it is a bit of the homophobia. I have done 1 MFM and it was a lot of fun seeing her completely pleased. However, the other guy and I made sure we did not touch each other. That is the only way I would do it again. I have no desire to watch another man have sex with my wife. But I have had other men watch me have sex with their wives.

 


 


 


 


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 5:37am

My partner would love a FMF threesome with me.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 7:07am
I guess that's my point...my SO talked once about getting involved with another couple, but he said he couldn't handle me with another guy. His reasoning was that "everyone would want you, but who would want me?" I told him I don't think he's ready for something like that. Which is fine by me...I'm perfectly satisfied the way things are. It just got me thinking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 8:31am
For my SO it's not so much about his involvement - he would quite happily just sit and watch me with another female if I didn't want him to touch her, but he has absolutely no desire to see me with a male due to to the reasons I mentioned.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 5:41pm
I ran into the situation where in the beginning before it was a physical relationship all was open. And he was alot more worldly then I was. And we discussed the MFM scenario..but when we were close enough in trust issues..for me to be comfortable with it..he was having no part of it. I think its a reality that alot of men want their cake and want to it to..but its hard to share what's their's. I know of several married men who swing..without their wives..and they see that its swinging not cheating..even though she is unaware..and have no issues with sharing antoher mans wife..but let you mention them sharing their's...let's just say..being as outspoken as I am..I have pushed their buttons a couple times...Maybe she wants a little spice added to her bedroom too.. after 15 years and I know they have been doing it for 6-7 easy..maybe she wants a little something different too...

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