Careful what you wish for

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Careful what you wish for
12
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 6:17pm
I am a 44 year old guy married 8 years to my attractive 38 year old wife. No kids. Our relationship was fine if a bit boring. Rather than attempt to spice it up I suggested that we experiment at "opening" our marriage. At first she was adamantly opposed, but I kept at it finally telling her that I intended to have an affair with female salesperson at a trade show. She then agreed. When I left for the trade show my wife sought out a neighbor who is not only our local skirt chaser but also brags about his affairs. While never a huge fan of fellatio my wife preformed it on him later telling me that it was like being reborn.She even had a climax when she swallowed his sperm. She then hung 3 straight nights at our local bar while I was at the trade show getting picked up by other locals having oral, intercourse or both with each in our bedroom. My attempt at a affair was a disaster with me being unable to preform. She continues to have sex with other men bringing them into our home when I am out of town until recently when I called telling her that I would be home a day early (in about a hour) & she said that it was up to me but she had a house guest & that I would have to sleep in the spare bedrooms. Imagine the torture & embarrassment of listing to her have sex with another man in the next room. She is a "singer" & is very loud. I stayed in the room until he had left in the AM. She then told me that she would be bringing other guys home when I was there as it is very exciting for her. My outside sex life has consisted of massage parlor hand & blow jobs since my one disastrous attempt was broadcast to all by the women I was to sleep with. my wife tells me she is having a ball & has no intention of slowing down. Her behavior is known through out are small city & I am often smirked at, laughed behind my back or even on occasion to my face.Be very careful what you wish for!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 6:50pm

Dude!

Sounds like you got what was coming! Shouldn't try to get what you want with threats - shows like of concern and respect for her. Can't say that I blame her for her reaction - doesn't sound like she had much of a choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 8:26pm

"I suggested that we experiment at "opening" our marriage. At first she was adamantly opposed, but I kept at it finally telling her that I intended to have an affair with female salesperson at a trade show."

I have to admit, I agree that this is not the way to suggest swinging. It has to be something both partners want, not something they are goaded into. It seems she was backed into a corner and I don't blame her for baring her claws.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 12:53am

Welcome to the board, pieamante.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 6:00pm
I admit that our situation is 100% my doing. My wife so far has refused counseling but I have been seeing a alternative life style therapist (PHD) who has suggested that in fact I wanted my wife to take lovers & humiliate me.She gave me a web site of a fantasy dominatrix site where for a $140 fee will for a hour fulfill bondage,humiliation & other none sexual things. I tried this today choosing a attractive African-American 6' tall women. I kissed her feet, licking clean her dirty high heeled pumps while she verbally abused me & whipping my bare bottom. After she subjected me to a golden shower by my laying with my head in a enamel bowel which opens allowing one to inset your head then closing with a gusset around your neck & her sitting on it. I must admit it was a reliving experience. No pun intended. My therapist has also suggested that I may want to observe my wife's activities in person. This may be true as I have long had a fantasy of watching her preform fellatio om another. Still very confused but willing to learn.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:26am
This is all looking a bit odd; you wouldn't be pulling our leg here, would you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 6:34am

"This is all looking a bit odd; you wouldn't be pulling our leg here, would you?"

Jackson, you can say that again. It is indeed one of the strangest happenings I've heard about yet. Sounds like a submission/dominatrix story straight from literotica dot com--but then sometimes the real life stuff sounds the most unbelievable.

Chakra

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 11:00am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 11:51am
Sorry you are so skeptical. If you google "fantasy makers" you will find that many of us not only go to such places but love it. I am going again this Friday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 12:32pm
If this is the route you choose..there are sites out there swappernet is the first one that comes to mind..might be good for the both of you to talk to some people who have been in the lifestyle for a while and get some info on it and an insight on it. Has to be a better and safer way then her out just picking people up..
and not plugging the site not a member of it..there are others this one just comes to mind off the top of my head...do some research..both of you together. Just because it is not working out right now does not mean it cant if you both work together to see what exactly you would like out of this situation. No kids make it a little easier. I do not see telling her she has to stop after she is enjoying it and you aren't because your attempt bombed is fair. What if your attempt had not then would it be ok? But maybe with seasoned people the risk for bombing may not be there and also they will probably be more discreet then the person you had the encounter with. And you can be honest and open about the things you enjoy..since you now have sampled the dom side of it maybe you wish to explore that a little further...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 3:53pm
Thank You. I must admit that in spite or more likely Because of this our personal sex life has improved. We have sex almost every day I am home. It is a turn on to know what of what she is capable. The only area this is not true is she has seldom preformed Fellatio on me since she started playing saying that it is much more exciting with the neighbor & others.

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