Where has my sex drive gone?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Where has my sex drive gone?!
23
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 9:26pm

Does anyone have any ideas on how to get it back??? I'm starting to aggravate myself... I know my DH has to be aggravated, but he's being wonderful with me.

In a few short weeks I have gone from wanting sex 2-3 times a day and masturbating at least that many times a day to trying to psych myself up for sex at least once a week for DH. I don't want it... I have NO desire for it. I have to tell myself that once it starts it won't be that bad. WTH?!?!?! This is coming from someone that used to ALWAYS be horny. Another thing that's irritating me is that I used to be able to orgasm so easily and have several with hardly any effort at all... now I'm having a hard time orgasming and the number has come way down. I've lost ALL desire for reading erotica, cybering, phone sex... I swear I almost feel prudish. I don't think any of it is wrong, I just don't feel like it's for me lately. Any ideas what's going on? The only thing that has changed in my life is that I'm trying to eat better and working out a lot.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:04am

Have you been more tired and/or stressed than usual?


Have you been taking some medications that could have reduced your sex drive, i.e. antidepressants, birth control etc?

 


 


Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 6:56am
Stress can be a biggie....I have been under emormous physical and emotional stress, and my libido has taken a hit.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 9:29am
I am tired all the time. I have no energy at all, unless I've just worked out. I have no desire to do anything, period... it's not just sex. I don't want to get out of bed. I am a little more stressed than usual. I am worried about my job right now. There's been some changes at work and some people are being let go and they're bringing in younger people. I am young, but they're looking for younger. I am not currently taking any medications other than over the counter stuff to help me sleep at night. I was on the pill, but my cycle is all messed up right now, so I didn't start it this month because I did not have a regular period. I am not pregnant, though... I've tested several times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 9:34am
Thanks, LM. Maybe it is just stress. I know I am more stressed than normal right now. I am working part time and most of the time hate my job, but I feel like at least I am doing something. I am worried they are going to replace me with a younger girl, though. They recently let the other evening/weekend receptionist go and the witch over us right now keeps mentioning major changes coming, so I'm constantly worried that I'm going to get a phone call that I'm no longer needed. I'm not currently taking any medications other than something over the counter to help me sleep. I was on the pill and had no problems with it, but my cycle is messed up this month and I did not have a regular period, so I did not restart my pills this cycle. I'm not pregnant... I've tested several times. This change came after I stopped the pills.
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 10:49am

well, is it possible you are having a little situational depression?



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 11:21am

Bayou, Bayou, Bayou......... I feel your pain sweetie! Let me tell you this.....


I've had the most stress in probably 7 years this past year. We moved 7 hours away from family and friends, found out my son is phonetically dyslexic, I had to adjust to a new place and new way of life, too many more to name......it's finally after a year has come full tilt with me! In the past 2/3 months it's physically starting to come out -- THE STRESS OF IT ALL! I can't sleep at night, I can't shut down, I'm tired ALL TIME TIME. I've recently gone to the dr about it b/c I thought something is/was physically wrong. He tested me for a lot of different things such as thyroid problems, etc, which you might just ask your dr about too! Hyper thyroid problems can cause extreme fatigue, etc. All my tests came back negative, so he thinks it's more anxiety and the fact that I finally can't hold all this in anymore and it's finally taking my body over physically!

 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 12:24pm
I'm totally with you on that one bayoumomof2. I just don't get what's going on! I want my drive back. =(
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there are many many replies to this thread!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 12:46pm
I'm thinking depression. I go through cycles when I handle things better and let them roll off of my back and other times it's not as easy to let little things go. The last time I felt like this my marriage was in shambles. I had a reason to be depressed. Right now I don't... other than the work situation bothering me. I know no one other than my doc can diagnose me, but I'm wondering if that's what's up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 12:59pm

Thanks Newbie! I am sorry to hear about all the stress you are under. I cannot imagine going through all of that.

I seem to go through this cycle every 2-3 years or so. I did go to the doctor the last time I felt so down and unhappy with life. He did all kinds of tests, bloodwork, thyroid, all of that and said my thyroid numbers were a tiny bit low, but not near enough to worry about. He told me then that I had anxiety problems and needed to just try to look on the bright side of things. He prescribed an anti-depressant, but I stopped taking it after a couple of months. I couldn't tell any difference. I never followed up on it and went back, because eventually I started to pull out of it.

HUGS to you too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 1:00pm

Bayou you don't HAVE to have a reason for being depressed. Depression just is. I said the same thing to my dr - I had lots of changes and thought I was getting depressed about them, but told him I think I'm fine now and dealing with things much better. He said, well you don't have to have a reason to be depressed. Depression just is and a lot people who have depression think they are fine too. Depression can affect every one differently - emotionally and physicially.


So, don't rule anything out -- talk to your doctor! It won't hurt to ask. :)

 

 

 

 

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