Sacred Intimate anyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Sacred Intimate anyone?
14
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 12:40pm

Has anyone here ever been to a "sacred intimate"? I am having a hard time getting a handle on what exaclty they do. Is it sex, nude massage, a sex coach, is it more spiritual, what the hell is it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:46pm

I've never even heard of it before.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:56pm
They're like sex coaches or tantic coaches or something...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:14pm

Okay I googled it and it seems like it's (D) all the above! But like Jazz, I'd never heard of it either....


 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:25pm

I know! But I just can't get a real straight answer. There's always something like "It is not about sex and lust or “getting off”, (not that there is anything wrong with sex or lust or "getting off")"


WTF? It's like their high class prostitutes, but they can't SAY that. They can't charge a fee, so they "ask for a donation."


There seems to be a rather large grey area.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:34pm
Alright I'm gonna ask - why? I know you don't have to answer that but now I gotta know why you want to know and why you want a straight answer about it!!!

 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 4:47pm

You know where to find me if you wanna know...


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 9:02am

I have some knowledge of this subject and have even dabbled in certain aspects of it, but I'm not very good at explaining, nor do I even know completely what it is, lol--but I'll do my best to share what I do understand. If you've ever read Da Vinci Code, then you probably were exposed to Mr. Brown's explanation of what the sacred feminine is and the spiritual aspect of the sexual union between a man and woman. I'm more into the spiritual view of sex myself and I believe the physical pleasure derived when making love is just a bonus. I've seen the websites that offer the sacred feminine sex surrogates aka sacred intimates. Not all of the sites are legit, and some may very well just be what you said, which is a high-class prostitute capitalizing off this special act.

From my understanding, you can achieve more of a spiritual and sexual high from having sex with one partner (preferably a monogamous relationship). The idea of the sacred feminine has some of the same beliefs and concepts as tantric sex. Tantric sex involves meditation and other spiritual exercises that are supposed to prolong the physical act of lovemaking and feed both partners spiritually--and make them closer emotionally in the process--it's supposed to provide the perfect intimate union, the way it was meant to be before it was just viewed as a "lustful" sex act which provides physical gratification. This doesn't look at making love as just the joining of two body parts together in rhythm, it covers just about every area from mutual grooming prior to sex, full body-tantric massage (nonsexual lingum and yoni massage techniques as well), setting the mood with incense and fragrances to calm and soothe the atmosphere...it gets really indepth. Definitely some of the practices and positions mentioned in the Kama Sutra would come into play here--even though the Kama Sutra and the Tantric text serve different purposes.

I have heard different explanations, but from what I've learned about the "sacred feminine" and sexuality is that this subject has been the cause of much controversy within certain religious communities. Sex in ancient times and within different cultures was viewed and revered with much more respect than it is today. Being with a female sexually was believed to be the only way to achieve a spiritual plateau and for a man to complete himself spiritually/emotionally. It was further thought that the only way a man could continue to feel this "completeness" within himself is through the sexual union he experienced with a woman...So instead of viewing sex as a way to "get off", it was looked at as a path to wholeness, and the fact that this act could create a new life was considered even more miraculous. Women were held in high esteem and viewed as almost ethereal beings (they were supposedly worshipped in some cultures) for the wonders they could do--that is for a man's spiritual well-being during the sexual union and giving life to a child during birth...this in short is the sacred feminine belief.

Basically both those sex practices thrive on the individuals involved being in sync with the spiritual side of sex and there are certain exercises and meditations that can be done to increase your awareness of this aspect and help you experience this enlightened "path" for yourself. You may get a more detailed explanation from someone who has more experience and practices this on a regular basis, but I can say that the times I've performed the meditations and approached sex from this point of view have been most fulfilling for me and my husband. I believe most people subconsciously do this anyway when they really "make love" to their spouse or SO rather than just do it because they're horny. I hope this answers some of your questions.

Chakra




Edited 9/14/2006 6:17 am ET by ayurchakra
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 11:33am

Thanks Chakra!


Actually, that is the part I understand the most. The details are what I'm more interested in, as if my DW and I were to ever embark on a journey of this kind, we'd want to know more about what the other person does. Do they touch your genitals? Are they naked? Are we naked? That sort of stuff. For us, to go into something like that, we'd want any sorts of "surprises" to be eliminated before we could feel completely at ease.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 1:19pm

"Do they touch your genitals? Are they naked? Are we naked? That sort of stuff. For us, to go into something like that, we'd want any sorts of "surprises" to be eliminated before we could feel completely at ease."

Hi Jhun,
Ya know, most of the sacred intimate services I see offered are from that of sex surrogates educated in Tantra or some other eastern sex philosophy--normally a sex surrogate will coach and engage in sexual activity with the individual(s) she's assisting with sexual or "spiritual" instruction. Most of the time you're encouraged to remove all your clothing, to become comfortable with each other's bodies and are lead in meditations which are instrumental in helping you begin to achieve the mindset you need to experience the "sacredness"...everything progresses from there, the sexual union and so forth.

If you want detailed information on what exactly the surrogate/coaches do then it would probably be a good idea to call one and make an inquiry about the services offered--make a list of questions you have, this will help. Once again, you would want to make sure that the surrogate is legit (certified by an accredited institution), and not just feeding you a bunch of hocus pocus. It would be wise to tread carefully when you're thinking of involving anyone in you and your wife's sex life. You should be sure and confident in the capabilities and qualifications of any type of sex therapist you seek--your sex life is not a trivial matter and shouldn't be handled by just anyone--I'm sure you know this, I'm just reinforcing it. I don't know whether you guys already have experience with allowing a third party into that aspect of your lives, but even if it is a sex coach, it's still an ADDition to the regular two involved, and a surrogate would be more intrusive so to speak since they normally involve themselves physically with their work. However, I don't see the problem if you were to tell the surrogate that her participation isn't needed and only her coaching is wanted. If she says no, that her interaction sexually is a must, then that's probably a good way to weed out whether or not the services had validity to them in the first place--because a surrogate can make more by lending her own "services" than just being an instructor. If she really has your best interest at heart, then your reservations about certain issues will be respected and addressed only when you're ready.

If this is something that you guys are seriously considering, why not check to see if there are any local classes in your area about couple's tantric sex, skydancing tantra, the kama sutra, or sacred feminine sexuality. A full class might be a more neutral and comfortable place for you both to begin pursuing something of this nature--then the coach won't be so much involved in your bonding process; this will allow for you guys to do more with each other personally without too much scrutiny because there are other students to help as well.

This is a very intimate act and something that should be well thought out before including another party. It's an undertaking that can indeed be accomplished with just the participation of you and your SO. Of course taking the classes or ordering instructional dvds can be done to assist you in your journey. If you do decide to use any instructional dvds, I suggest the 'Sky Dancing Tantra' series by Margo Anand. She also has a website where you can order her products, and she suggests what order you should follow her program so that it flows more smoothly--beginner to advanced. Amazon dot com also has great books and dvds concerning Tantra. "Jewel in the Lotus: The Tantric Path to Higher Consciousness" by Sunyata Saraswati & Bohdi Avinasha is a great beginner's book. There are also several books that discuss the idea of the sacred feminine, but not many that tell you how to go about having sacred sex--in its basic form, sacred sex involves the train of thought I discussed in the previous post concerning the sexual union between man and woman. The few books that are out there concerning sacred sex can be located on Amazon dot com and more information can be found on websites that promote this idea. There is one book called "The Complete Idiot's Guide To Being a Sex Goddess", and it speaks about the sacred feminine and how to make sex sacred for women and men.

Really I think you should educate yourself about the subject as much as possible before delving into it, and do as much as you can at home with just you two before progressing further. If you feel that you can't reach that spiritual/physical plateau by yourselves, then maybe seek the services of a certified sacred-sex educator. You will find that there won't be one dull moment while researching this subject...trust it's very interesting. I wish I could answer more for you, but I've only done this with my husband, and we've attended a couple of workshops together, other than that, we've done all of our spiritual union/bonding at home and prefer it that way. One other resource you could check out is Tantra dot com. It has a listing of teachers and workshops by region in the U.S. Good resources available there. Also one other thing to remember, you don't necessarily have to be a practitioner of or convert yourself to Hinduism or any other belief to enjoy the benefits of this sexual progression--this type of spiritual connection is nondiscriminatory. Good luck. Hope you guys have fun.

Chakra

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 1:43pm
Thanks Chakra, that helps a lot. And I totally understand the whole thing about the third person, whatever they are doing. I think it's good advice to just go ahead and call someone. I think we live in an area where there are quite a few, and they all seem to know each other.

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