Love anal........

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Love anal........
5
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 3:13pm
I've posted in previous boards about not getting quite enough at home but my question is when I have anal with my h, why can he not keep it hard? He says he enjoys it immensely, and as soon as I suggest/initiate he gets rock hard, but once we try to attempt he goes soft. Yes there's times we can actually get the deed done but ?
We use lots of lube, and there's lots of foreplay, (he likes it when I touch myself, but of course only when I'm with him), and to have a little something in my vagina is definitely a turn on for me, why can't he stay hard?
Any suggestions? Do any men out there have this problem? If you do HELP!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 3:52pm
Uh no not a problem I'am familiar with. Never had mine go soft exactly the opposite, gets harder.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 4:03pm

Hi and welcome to the board! There could be several reasons....medical problems, stress,etc. Has your DH had a physical lately? Is he on any medicines that might cause this problem? Just throwing out some stuff here.


Again, welcome to the board!

 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 4:39pm

Have you tried before and it hurt you? The hubby and I have had this problem in the past, and it was because prior to finding The Perfect Position it always hurt me so bad. He was afraid of hurting me again and sometimes he goes soft when we are going for it.

Just a possibility.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 8:36am
To answer all of the postings, yes he's on meds, and they could possibly be the cause, but with oral he stays hard. I know he's into it because when we do succeed (WHOA succeed), lol, he cums really hard. There honestly isn't an anal position that bothers me, I prefer first entry with me on top, then I can control him going in, but after that first little push there's not a position that hurts. Toys are in the equation, vibrator, dildo, for me and for him, and they're all great for both of us.........
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 4:48am

I have a similar response to anal sex as your husband, and am in no doubt as to its cause. My wife and I only tried anal sex because it was something neither of us had ever done in our previous relationships and was a fun way for us to be "virgins" together.

And it turned out to be something we both found erotic and pleasureable, but I have only actually been able to maintain an erection twice more out of a dozen or so opportunities. Its something she only is in the mood for when we are having a really good time and feeling extra nasty, and all the way up to actual penetration I am completely erect and ready to go... But when it comes to actually doing it I have very mixed emotions. I am afraid she might get hurt. And although I KNOW differently now, I believed for most of my adult years that anal sex was something done by men TO women in order to get pleasure for themselves without risking pregnancy or carrying that the woman wasnt being pleases. So a part of me still feels like I am using her very negatively, even though I KNOW differently. And then finally, that it is in my mind still sleezy, nasty and taboo, and gettin that nasty occasionally with my love is very erotic play, when it comes to actually "doing it" it goes from nasty playacting to actaully treating the love of my life like a steazy nasty B.... And I just dont want to F... her in the A...

Now, we are still new at this particular act, but not to the process of challenging those things we were raised to think of as "wrong" but as openminded adults now see differently. So I am sure I'll get over the emtional angist that is holding me back and causing me to go soft right when I really need to be quite hard. If your guy has similar emotional issues, the best thing he can do is tell you all about it. Just that first step can take a lot of power away from the hangup, and the more its disscussed the more you diffuse the hangup while creating excitement about going for it. Heck, just writing this post has helped me really clarify for MYSELF whats been holding me back, and given me very nasty thoughts about what Id love to do to her gorgeous butt...