Watersports....how do I ask?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Watersports....how do I ask?
6
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 1:47pm
My wife of 10 years is conservative with a low libido. How do I bring up the topic in a respectful way? I don't want her to think she married this deranged pervert, but I do want to get a little more adventurous. How do I approach the topic??
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 2:39pm

Welcome to the board guitarman! Well seeing as how your wife is conservative with LL, I'd say start off with something very small and work your way up to the big stuff. Talk to her outside the bedroom and just tell her what you said in your thread....you'd like to get a little more adventorous and how she feels about it? Is this something she'd like? If so, does she have any ideas?


Good luck to ya both!

 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 3:17pm

It seems couples differ on this. My ex-bf, who was just an extremely sexual person, used to love to give me bubble baths. Once in the middle of it he said, gosh i really have to piss, just close your eyes Phil. The toilet was right next to the end of the tub where my head was and I didn't close my eyes and was watching it. He was like, "whaddaya lookin' at??!!??" He had a bladder the size of a basketball I think, it just went on and on and a little splashed on me. When he got to the end I said to him, you can go on me sometime if you want, and he thought I was a freak I think and never ever brought it up once again.

That's my one near miss with watersports.

But, like anything, it's probably about just good communication.

(I, on the other hand, am so private about peeing that it's almost a joke -- lock the door, turn on the water to conceal the sound, etc. Go figure!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 9:42am
Thanks for the welcome and the responses. I'm just not sure how to bring up the topic. We never talk about sex outside the bedroom. She does enjoy sex once she is turned on, and she does get a little bold when I am giving her oral. She enjoys some dirty talk, and often asks me what turns me on. Is that the time I should say " I love every inch of you and would love to feel and taste your warm flow"? Or something to that effect....Ideas? I'm just not sure how she would react. She may get freaked out. She is very private in the bathroom. I have never seen her go. I'm very open about it and she's seen me go dozens of times. We do have a little communication barrier as far as sex goes, but it is mostly because I'm affraid of how she will react to my suggestions. I respect her boundries, but I'm pretty sure she would enjoy it. She is a very dominant person in our relationship, and I am very submissive. Any more thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 10:56am
It's a hard question, you never know what boundaries people would have. I would never, ever want to be watched peeing but I was often fascinated by watching my last bf go, after that one time. We never acted on it. Only thing i ever did was, one time i came up behind him and held it for him and watched over his shoulder. He thought i was nuts. We were in a hotel thankfully and i purposely made a mess, i don't know it was fun. Not really a turn-on or anything just plain fun. It did crack me up that his bladder must have been 20 times the size of mine. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 11:30am

Hi Guitarman.. I'm a long time lurker here but your post convinced me to join in.

I'm blessed by the fact that my fiancée and I both have high sex drives so opening up to new experiences is easier for us, however I think that communication is a key facet of any relationship, regardless of how similar or different two people may be.

Sex and intimacy are essential to creating a strong and loving bond between a loving couple, and both are greatest when they don't begin in the bedroom. You might try sitting down with her sometime and talking about the love you share and your desire to be closer to her, to see your bond grow, to bring to each other all that you are. Just you two.

Take it slowly, ask her what turns her on. Perhaps you can find a survey on the Internet or buy a book that discusses what turns men and women on and talk about it. You may find she has desires you never imagined, and it will open the door to you broaching the subject. As long as you are supportive and respectful of her boundaries you may be surprised at what you find out about each other.

In my case my fiancée and I were talking about what turns us on. She told me she liked to be spanked and asked if I had any "secrets". I told her that hearing her peeing was erotic. A couple of days later she told me of a previous boyfriend whose former wife would sit in his lap while peeing, and how she found that "interesting".

One thing lead to another, we found our boundaries...our "comfort zones", now watersports are a part of our play, as well as role playing, mild "force play", biting and scratching...things I had never thought I would enjoy. All of it, the sharing, the openness we have to bring our desires to each other, to satisfy each others needs, has brought us closer than I ever believed was possible.

It all begins and ends with communication and with the discovery that bringing to the other an acceptance and desire to fulfill the other's needs, in all areas, is the foundation of a truly wonderful relationship.

Good luck, I hope it all works out.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 4:14pm

Hi, guitarman.