Watersports....how do I ask?
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Watersports....how do I ask?
| Mon, 10-02-2006 - 1:47pm |
My wife of 10 years is conservative with a low libido. How do I bring up the topic in a respectful way? I don't want her to think she married this deranged pervert, but I do want to get a little more adventurous. How do I approach the topic??

Welcome to the board guitarman! Well seeing as how your wife is conservative with LL, I'd say start off with something very small and work your way up to the big stuff. Talk to her outside the bedroom and just tell her what you said in your thread....you'd like to get a little more adventorous and how she feels about it? Is this something she'd like? If so, does she have any ideas?
Good luck to ya both!
It seems couples differ on this. My ex-bf, who was just an extremely sexual person, used to love to give me bubble baths. Once in the middle of it he said, gosh i really have to piss, just close your eyes Phil. The toilet was right next to the end of the tub where my head was and I didn't close my eyes and was watching it. He was like, "whaddaya lookin' at??!!??" He had a bladder the size of a basketball I think, it just went on and on and a little splashed on me. When he got to the end I said to him, you can go on me sometime if you want, and he thought I was a freak I think and never ever brought it up once again.
That's my one near miss with watersports.
But, like anything, it's probably about just good communication.
(I, on the other hand, am so private about peeing that it's almost a joke -- lock the door, turn on the water to conceal the sound, etc. Go figure!)
Hi Guitarman.. I'm a long time lurker here but your post convinced me to join in.
I'm blessed by the fact that my fiancée and I both have high sex drives so opening up to new experiences is easier for us, however I think that communication is a key facet of any relationship, regardless of how similar or different two people may be.
Sex and intimacy are essential to creating a strong and loving bond between a loving couple, and both are greatest when they don't begin in the bedroom. You might try sitting down with her sometime and talking about the love you share and your desire to be closer to her, to see your bond grow, to bring to each other all that you are. Just you two.
Take it slowly, ask her what turns her on. Perhaps you can find a survey on the Internet or buy a book that discusses what turns men and women on and talk about it. You may find she has desires you never imagined, and it will open the door to you broaching the subject. As long as you are supportive and respectful of her boundaries you may be surprised at what you find out about each other.
In my case my fiancée and I were talking about what turns us on. She told me she liked to be spanked and asked if I had any "secrets". I told her that hearing her peeing was erotic. A couple of days later she told me of a previous boyfriend whose former wife would sit in his lap while peeing, and how she found that "interesting".
One thing lead to another, we found our boundaries...our "comfort zones", now watersports are a part of our play, as well as role playing, mild "force play", biting and scratching...things I had never thought I would enjoy. All of it, the sharing, the openness we have to bring our desires to each other, to satisfy each others needs, has brought us closer than I ever believed was possible.
It all begins and ends with communication and with the discovery that bringing to the other an acceptance and desire to fulfill the other's needs, in all areas, is the foundation of a truly wonderful relationship.
Good luck, I hope it all works out.
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Hi, guitarman.