Hypersexuality

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Hypersexuality
8
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 4:56am
I guess that's the correct term to describe me. In high school my girl friends called me a nympho. I'm obsessed with sex and I have been since I was 13 or 14. I'm bisexual and I've had a number of girlfriends as well as boyfriends. I've been married once and I've been divorced several years. Right now I'm living with a 50 year old man who wants to marry me. He knows that I'm bi and he seems ok with that but I recently slept with an ex boyfriend and I'm really confused about where my life is going. A friend that I confide in suggested that I might be bi-polar but I don't seem to have all of the symptoms. I wonder if there are a lot of women who have insatiable sexual appetites.
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
In reply to: rachel_lyn
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 7:49am
Hi there and welcome.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
In reply to: rachel_lyn
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 8:30am
I don't have sex with complete strangers. The man I live with used to be my boss and I had an affair with him several years ago but he's divorced now. I've had an on-off relationship with my ex bf. As far as risks go I haven't been on the pill in almost a year and I'd like to have a baby. I had unprotected sex with my ex last week and I have sex with my current bf several times a week. I recently met a married couple and I've been with them several times but so far it's been just girl sex with the wife but hubby loves to watch us. The ground rules to begin with were that it would just be sex between the girls but I really would like to have sex with him too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: rachel_lyn
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 10:57am

Welcome to the board, Rachel.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2006
In reply to: rachel_lyn
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 1:36am

rachel_lyn you didn't give your present age, but I suspect you are still young. When I read what you had written, it almost seemed like I was writing about myself, with some notable differences. I am not bi, nor have I had any interest in sex with a female. But whe I was about 15 I leared about sex in a van, and, man, did i love it. I had a bf in high school and we really went at it whenever we could. It was like someone opened the floodgate because I didn't think I could get enough. The bf and I went our separate ways, and I went to college, where I learned to be a little more careful of who youe have sex with. I never got pregnant nor got a STD, but I guess I was lucky. I met, and became the closest fried with a man who is 30 years my senior, and he has been my mentor. We have never had sex, nor has he ever made any attempt to move in that direction, but as a friend...a friend whom I could talk about sex with, and feel totaly safe with. He has never judged me, nor anything I have ever done, and I love him as much as anyone I have ever loved. After college, I had a job which I had to gather information on people with various addictions. The main psychologist told me that of all addictions, she felt a sexual addiction was the worst to have, mainly because our culture is so sexually immature. Drug addicted people cane receive help, but a sexually addicted person is viewed with scorn. I am happy to say that I know I am not addicted, but I have learned to have great empathy with those who do.

Lynn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2006
In reply to: rachel_lyn
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 1:41am

I have just reminded myself of another truth...edit what you post to clear up those typos and misspelled words so you don't look like an uneducated fool..lol.

Lynn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: rachel_lyn
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 4:32pm

Not that I think you have to - typos are normal for the boards - but you can go back and edit your post.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
In reply to: rachel_lyn
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 8:21am
I took that test and I answered yes to 12. I told the man I live with about having sex with my ex bf but I didn't tell him we didn't use condoms. He's aware of my sexual appetite and we decided that if we get married we'd have an open relationship. His ex wife knows that he was sleeping with me when he was married and her attitude was that all men cheat on their wives. I've been trying to get pregnant with him but couldn't help myself when I slept with my ex. I'm 37 so I doubt that I'm pregnant now and I have my fingers crossed that I'm not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
In reply to: rachel_lyn
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 11:11am

Hi lyn,
How have you been? Haven't seen you on the board in a while. Little Mascara gave you some great advice and Jazz did as well. I remember from some of your posts back in August that you had a lot on your plate with your daughter, your ex, and some confusing feelings about how healthy your level of sexuality is. I really believe given the complexity of your situation and all the things you've been going through lately, that you would benefit greatly from sharing your concerns with a counselor or psychologist. This would allow you to address the deeper issues that are causing your feelings/approach towards sex and help you to deal better with some of the more stressful situations you've been experiencing in your life lately. IMHO (and I mean this with no malice), your outlook concerning respect for yourself and the way you view sex (or the way you handle sexual encounters) isn't healthy and may only serve to hurt you in the long run.

Do you think it's possible that you're using sex to escape some sort of emotional pain? Are you aware that deviant promiscuity is a symptom of some emotional/psychological disorders? (I'm sure you do know, but have you thought that this could be your issue as well?)

Being bipolar, having severe depression or other psychological issues can cause one to act out of character, make risky decisions and participate in deviant sex acts with no regard for their physical or mental well-being. Remember, you don't necessarily have to be in a relationship with someone to validate who you are....it sounds to me like you feel that you can't be alone, or maybe that you have some sort of dependency on whoever your significant other is at the time. This is not healthy, as we need to have an identity outside of our loved ones.

I commend you for breaking the relationship off with your *ex* after what happened with your daughter, but sleeping with him is probably only making things more confusing for you both and if you get pregnant by him, where does this leave you with the relationship you're currently in? Do you feel that this continued connection with your ex-fiance will further complicate things, being that he is the father of your daughter's child? There are a lot of relationships and activities in your life that I think you need to reevaluate to decide whether or not they're conducive to you maintaining an emotionally healthy state of mind.

I really encourage you to seek assistance for the issues and emotions you've been having--it's important for you to have that outlet and to express your concerns to a nonjudgmental/unbiased, yet qualified individual---to be able to talk with someone indepth and get all of these feelings out in the open where they can be analyzed and put into perspective properly. Counseling will also allow you to confront *yourself* and do some soul searching--It will bring up tough questions/answers and allow you to evaluate if you're happy with who *you* are right now, and whether you want to remain this way for the rest of your life or make a change. If you're questioning your own behavior right now (as you have in this thread), then it's a good indicator that something is probably amiss and that you know your quality of life could be better than what you're making it out to be.

I don't mean to offend you, so please don't take my advice as such. These are just my honest opinions, and I write them in the good faith that they will help you along in your journey to inner peace. I wish you all the best, and hope that whatever decisions you make will benefit you and your family in the long run. Bell well...I mean that in every way. Good luck. ***Hugs to you***

Chakra