ITS HURTS SO MUCH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
ITS HURTS SO MUCH!
12
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 2:00pm

Recently, my boyfriend of over 1 year has told me that he wants to try anal sex. I always had an inclination to, so I consented. On the night we tried, we used plenty of lubrication and I convinced myself to relax while he attempted to penetrate me. However, he was unable to penetrate me more than 2 inches because the pain was excruciating for me. It hurt so much that I am unable to understand how other women are able to physically enjoy it. I want to try anal sex not only because I have a feeling it may be enjoyable after the first time, but I also want to satisfy my boyfriend's needs.

I feel like we did everything right (lots of lube, anal play, etc), which is why I cannot understand what the problem is. Is there something wrong with me? Do you recommend an anesthetic to dull the pain?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 3:43pm

Welcome to the board Strawberry! In my experience, anal sex never hurt and was enjoyable to me. Some times you need to work up to full pentration by using fingers, toys, etc. before the real thing. My advice: Relax, take your time

 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 7:19pm

hi there!


FIrst, NO.



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 11:38pm

Hi strawberry86,

Nice to meet you. I am sorry to hear that you had a bad experience for your 1st time anal sex. In fact, it shouldn't happen. Anyway, don't worry. I believe that you can enjoy this fine art of sex with your BF in future because you have a right attitude to anal sex and you believe that you have a feeling it may be enjoyable. Most importantly, you are willing to try it again for yourself and your BF after the first time painful anal sex. In your case, you feel so painful during full anal sex. It means that you are still not ready for a full anal sex. Before having any full anal sex, you need to practice anal play for quite a long time. Take my DW as an example, before having a full anal sex with her, I have been giving her anal play for almost 1 year. Starting from 1 finger to 2 fingers. Besides, I also give her rimming. Finally, she doesn't feel any pain at all for the 1st time. Now, she gets used to the special feeling and she starts to enjoy it step by step. In my opinion, sexual position and entry angle are also very important. You should try different position to find out which one is the best for you. However, before you try it again you should spend more time on anal play until you are ready for a real one. Don't rush to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:41am
I haven't had a lot of experience with anal but the man I'm with now and I do it sometimes and I'd love to try dp. My ex boyfriend has a very large penis and the few times I tried anal with him it hurt so we quit. I guess if it doesn't feel good, don't do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:22pm

My boyfriend has a large penis - 7 and 1/2 inches and is about 2.5 inches thick, so perhaps that has something to do with my pain. I plan to keep trying though.

Thank you everyone for all your suggestions :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2006
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 12:07pm
I have never had anal sex but I want it. My b/f has done it once with one g/f and didn't like it much. He brought it up while we were talking on headsets and he gets really turned on at the thought of doing it with me. He is a sensitive and gentle man so will be prepared to make sure he does it right. He's well built too. I've read a lot about it, it's just getting together to do it now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 1:27pm

"I feel like we did everything right (lots of lube, anal play, etc), which is why I cannot understand what the problem is."


It's

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 3:32pm
Try this on your own with a decent size vibrator to see if it works for you...The main reason it hurts is you probably are clenching your sphincter muscle as he is trying to penetrate.To relax it you must actually push out as if you are going to poop
(you wwont though)what that does is relaxes the spincter muscle so he can slide right in. You CAN NOT clench AND push at the same time, it is impossible.People say to "relax", well pushing out is the key. Oh yes remember the lube.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 4:14pm
Just FYI, some people do "poop" when the anus is stimulated/penetrated and that I'm sure would be most humiliating! You can't assume that others won't "poop" because you don't (and that's assuming that you are experianced with your own anus is being penetrated).
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 4:24pm
They wont poop if there is nothing in the 'shoot". I`m assuming that there has been a bowel movement recently...The way the elimination process works is there are two sphincter type of muscles, about 12" apart. One opens to let poop into the "shoot" and one opens to let it out. Its the second one that lets it out that needs to relax to allow penetration.Pushing will let it relax open up and be penetrated.Normally both sphincter muscles are not open at the same time, because we only have control of the we can see.....lol

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