Anal sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2006
Anal sex
10
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 2:06pm
How can I encourage DH to do this with me? Early on in our relationship, he was the one who brought this up as something he'd be interested in trying. I have done this with a different partner in the past and am open to it. Every time I try to initiate it though, he shies away. I don't know if he really wants to do it and is just nervous, or if he doesn't really want to do it and was blindsided by my wanting to. How should I feel him out about this?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2006
In reply to: aranel7
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 2:30pm
I think the most easiest way would be to simply talk about it, outside of the bedroom setting of course. That way he wont feel the pressure to try something he doesnt seem to want to do right now. But if you are open with him and talk about it, he can give you his view point, and maybe come to some solution, maybe he might like to start with anal play versus penetration at first, see how that goes, and maybe you can progress from there. Has he ever tried it before>, maybe he had a bad experience and thinks it might be like that all the time. and for some going in "that" area is somthing they always thought of as "so not going to happen". but unless you both discuss it, you wont really know..I wish you luck

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: aranel7
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 2:33pm

Since he brought it up and said he was interested at one point, here's my idea for how to approach it ...


Do you ever use sex toys while he watches?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: aranel7
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 2:36pm
I agree with bear. The most productive sexual conversations seem to happen outside the act of sex. Let him know you are quite curious about exploring that with him and ask him what he thinks about your new naughty thought. (bring a little playfulness to it which will keep the defenses down, if not disable them all together! LOL!) Good luck, and lucky man!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: aranel7
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 2:41pm

talk about taking the pressure off of trying to initiate that conversation with the porn idea...good one Jazz!

actually, both were banner!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
In reply to: aranel7
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 2:48pm

I like Jazz's suggestions...let us know if you try any!




iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
In reply to: aranel7
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 3:45pm

Hey welcome to the board Jennifer! Got some great ideas here! He might be a little shy after you had the baby. Some guys tend to backoff a little after that for some reason, but it's always a step in the right direction to talk about it!!!


Good luck!

 

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: aranel7
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 1:40am

Hi Aranel7,

As you said, he was the one who brought this up as something he'd be interested in trying. Why didnt you do it with him at that time? Have you refused to do it with him? Does he know that you have done it with a different partner in the past? When he brought it up, did you tell him what you think of anal sex? How did you initiate it? Are you sure he really knows what you want him to do? In my opinion, maybe he didnt get your initiation. He doesnt really know you are willing to try it with him. If he has no experience, he may scare of hurting you. However, I am pretty sure he also likes anal sex because he brought this up in the past. By the way, it is rare to find a man who doesnt want to try anal. Dont worry. There are thousand ways to seduce your man to do it with you. It is difficult to persuade a gal to try it for the 1st time, but it is very easy to seduce your shy guy to try it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
In reply to: aranel7
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 2:59pm

Jennifer,

I think Jazz's suggestions are great. If you guys watch porn together and you see and anal scene, just tell him you think that it's hot and ask him if he'd like to try it. When DW and I started anal play years ago, during foreplay I would be using my hand on her and would let my finger rub over and around her anus (I was a little afraid to just put it in) and one night she just put her hand on top of mine and guided my finger to her anus. This way I knew she really wanted it and from her reaction she really enjoyed it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
In reply to: aranel7
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 8:05pm
I agree with Nova84. My BF and I had tried anal foreplay for a while together, I was willing to do more. So one night I leaned over the bed and moved him behind me. He knew what to do and it was one of the best experience of my life. From that day on we have enjoyed anal sex. No complaints from him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
In reply to: aranel7
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 3:10pm
Have you lubbed up you fingers rubed them over his anus and then slip a toy it in him? Give him a little of what you want then lead him to you. There is all sorts of possabities from there.