Another Child?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
Another Child?
12
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 10:10pm
How many of you feel this crazy need to have another kid?
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jessica.white86@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-12-2009 - 2:05am

Welcome to the board, Jessica.

A close friend of mine has it :-)

This is something that you are talking to your husband about right now? How many children had you and he agreed to have? How does he feel about having a third child? Are you both on the same page? How are you coping with two right now, and how do you think you'll cope with three children that are all under 5? I think that people do find a way to cope financially, but it might be easier to cope when economic times are good than when economic times are difficult.

Our view-points and decisions are always based on personal histories and experiences. As someone whose family spent a huge fortune when a family member suddenly fell critically ill, it has highlighted the need to have savings set aside for a rainy day and for emergencies. But that's *me* and that only illuminates where my preoccupations are right now, which were brought up because you said you were broke. Do you have to have a child within a year, or can you and your husband start setting aside some money for the kids and the new baby, and when you've nearly accomplished your goals start working on Baby No. 3. You have a lot of the material things needed for a baby already, but delivering a baby does cost a lot. Hey, but that's me ;-)
















iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
Tue, 05-12-2009 - 11:22am
We've talked about it.
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jessica.white86@yahoo.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 05-22-2009 - 1:12am

Hi Jessica,

How are you doing? I wanted to tell you to touch base with your doctor about the birth control pills and see whether there are other pills or contraceptives that would work better for you. If you are having symptoms of pregnancy as a side effect, no wonder your longing for a third child is magnified. Going off the pill and abstinence or using the calendar is an option, though it isn't an easy one unless your husband is good and disciplined at using a condom. If you haven't see your doctor yet, please consider doing so!

I hope this finds you and your family well.
















iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
Fri, 05-22-2009 - 2:36am

Thank you. I am glad you understand!!!

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jessica.white86@yahoo.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Sat, 05-23-2009 - 11:41am

'Scuse me for butting in here, but have you considered that while your dreams may be hormonally charged, they may also be telling you that you're on your way to a new phase of your life - that you're "birthing" something new?

I so know the want and feeling of need of having another baby (and thankfully I'm over it and now I'm too old to anyway!!! lol). For me, after I thought about it a long time, I came to realize it was more of not feeling fulfilled or as needed as I was when my babies were way little that made the urge so huge. It's a hard place to be but I think we all work through it - or each of us would be having another baby ever year or 2.

Good luck!

Bren Jay



Superposter -BL500 FYBL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
Sat, 05-23-2009 - 1:04pm

So everyone feels l ike this at some point?

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jessica.white86@yahoo.com
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Registered: 11-13-2008
Sat, 05-23-2009 - 6:48pm

>>I have just re-enrolled in school for business because some day, I want my own business.<< See? - you are birthing something new! Good for you! I'm sending all my best wishes and hope for you and yours!

Yeah, we all do go through it. Being a mom, especially to a very dependent little one, is an incredible feeling! It's like the ultimate high and feeling of accomplishment when we can pull it together and help this little one grow and not need us so much. At the same time, it's also a bittersweet feeling of not being needed so much. But that's exactly what mothering is all about - creating and nurturing a little one and seeing he/she grow into this person that no longer needs us for the intimate details - yet always needing us for support and love. As I said before, it's a really hard place to be in. And I think, if my opinion amounts to much, is that you are a wonderful mom who wants to give everything you've got to your Girlies! The way they will need you becomes more and different than the the initial need . Energy-wise, it can be just as taxing, but it changes, because as you grow within yourself and beyond needing to fulfill their every need, their needs change and you have to adapt. Their emotional as well as hormonal changes will be almost extreme in a few short years! The hormonal change years are crazy for everyone! Trust me on this one - and I've got boys - can't even imagine dealing with Estrogen instead testosterone!

I would be lying if I said "I wouldn't ever want to have another baby" - because what I do want is to feel that unconditional trust that Little Ones have and so freely gives. (*There is absolutely nothing better than when a little one falls asleep in your arms -that takes complete and total trust. It's always felt like an honor when I've experienced that from one other my own child*) But I also need to say, I can now look at Itty-Bitty Ones, hold them, dive into their world for a while and gratefully give them back to their parents because I know what an incredible amount of work it is to raise a child successfully. I've done an okay job with the 2 boys I have, and as strong as I am, I know I don't have the stamina to ever give that much to any one else again.

I've so loved being a Mom! (My boys are 23 and 11, almost 12.) Seeing the changes they go through and feeling the exhilaration of their accomplishments doesn't stop when they start walking. It's the watching them make value decisions - good or bad - and seeing them grow from that point forward. It's the learning from them as well as teaching them! My children have always been teachers to me - and the pleasure I receive from watching them actually grow into the people they are absolutely astonishes me! I am so fully blessed!

Jessica, it simply takes time to figure all this out. Again and always, I keep you and yours in my good thoughts and wish you all the best!

With lots of Love,

Bren Jay



Superposter -BL500 FYBL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
Sun, 05-24-2009 - 1:14am

Thank you.

Brown Bag Party
consultant
Book a Party Today!
jessica.white86@yahoo.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 05-25-2009 - 11:13am

I really like your way of looking at this, Bren. Thanks!
















iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 05-25-2009 - 11:23am

Good for your for enrolling yourself in school and preparing yourself for the future! What kind of business were you thinking of?

Go for it, Jessica!
















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