Help - All Over the place

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2009
Help - All Over the place
7
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 12:30pm

I have just gone through a painful divorce, moved back to my home country, looking for a job, start over - fresh. Im 25 years of age I have all these things I want to do with my life..But I DONT know where to start!!!

PLEAAAAAAASE help me

Ok Im still looking for a job, but Im positive Ill find something good as I have Middle East experience. Anyhow, Im hopefully moving to London, a brand new city, but currently living with my mum, my experience is a University degree in the Arts but Ive worked as a legal secretary for some big firms and will be looking to do this in London now.

Ok so, Ive decided what I want to do with my life, I want to be a lawyer, but I want to take the distance learning route, which means I learn from home - Legal Executive course, I will start this from home and it takes on average 4 yrs to finish the entire course, it's like a law degree, providing you do around 7 hours a week.

I really want to also learn Arabic and French - I already speak bits of Arabic and did French in school but really want to learn these in the next 4 years so when I apply for a training contract (to become a lawyer - hopefully in a firm Im already working in as a PA) I have that advantage.

I also want to start to take care of my mind and body, I used to do judo a long time ago when I was married but would love to do kick boxing maybe once a week and start toning up. I want to dance more, I used to dance all the day, Im great at belly dancing, but I want to do this from home, the only thing is the kick boxing I want to learn to do once a week in a club. I have a few yoga dvds also so would love to get back into that.

As a hobby I was always interested in organic beauty products, making my own products and I would love to learn how to cook - do international cooking etc.

I used to work for a local TV station - asian channel but would love to get some experience in a few other channels - news/correspondent programmes. I also want to do charity work! helping other Asian women.

At the moment seen as though Im at home Im not really doing a lot, after my divorce Ive had a real depression, my family constantly tell me how capable I am and how hard working and talented..but I dont know how to focus on all these things and enjoy it..

I also want to read more, learn a lot more about different religions, cultures - visit more places, cities etc, have long term financial goals and achieve them. Im single again and I want to focus on all my dreams and ambitions without burning out.

Is there a way of fitting all this in????? including down time! spending time with my family...I just want to achieve all these so my confidence is increased Im closer to reaching my goal, being a lawyer, earning more, helping others and really seeing the world..becoming everything I want to be..Ive tried writing out a schedule but it becomes hard..can anyone please suggest anything!

:( xxxxxx

Thanksssss

Walk Hand in Hand with the Truth - It Will Set You Free
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 9:48pm

How about contacting radio stations, too, and asking if they have anything open right now, even behind the scenes ones. Sometimes we need to take a short detour in order to get to where we want to. Being an emcee is another way to gain experience, increase your profile within the community and get yourself noticed by producers.

I am glad that the divorce has left you with a good financial settlement and that you don't need to think about it now, which makes this the perfect time for you to educate yourself how to ensure that you tart laying down the foundation for financial well-being now, not only for the long-term future for when you retire, but also in case you want to buy your own place one day, for emergencies, etc.

Have you started to dance already?

















iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2009
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 6:05pm

Wow..I guess Im not the only one then. Well done you! for getting out of that and now you can look back and LOOK AHEAD..

I have days where I feel sooo hurt and sad! I was married to someone I faught to be with..long story but one day at a time I guess.

x

Walk Hand in Hand with the Truth - It Will Set You Free
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2002
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 12:56pm

Thank you so much for that Diana. It did help, thanks. What did you do to help you? What plans did you make?


I went to counseling every two weeks, lived from two weeks to two weeks.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2009
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 11:50am

Thank you so much for that Diana. It did help, thanks. What did you do to help you? What plans did you make?

For now my languages and my law course Ive timed 4 years - it could change.

The TV work - I have no idea! Its hard I think! but let's see.

Did you find yourself changing how you lived and thought after your divorce? I am kind of sad, depressed, I get ill quickly too..headaches, tiredness, fever and I catch a cold quick too. What did you do to help?

x

Walk Hand in Hand with the Truth - It Will Set You Free
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2009
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 11:47am

Hi Poppy,

Thank you soo much for the reply and such great advice! you actually made it look attainable - and I think you're right as long as I enjoy it, I feel it really will be :) OK so Ive decided on the following:

* look for a job in London for a law firm - I have already joined 3/4 agencies - my previous experience is in Corporate/commercial law firms and I LOVE that type of work. Initially it will be to go in as a legal secretary then perhaps work my way up with my legal studies as a paralegal and then once Ive got my legal executive course completed I can perhaps apply as a Legal Executive. It will take me around 3-4 years to complete the qualification, a legal exec is different to a lawyer but only very slightly, they don't work as independently but can later on qualify as a lawyer - for me this would work better, as when I was in the UAE I was the only one who knew a bit of Arabic and had an educational background - from other secretaries so I did start working as a JUNIOR Paralegal but the divorce made me come back to the UK. My ideal position would be to work as a legal sec for a commercial firm in London I have the experience and I love it! Im just awaiting interviews now. But I decided today, I will do one job application a day for London.

* learn Arabic or French - After much consideration, I think Arabic would be a better option, the language is kind of fresh in my mind, I already know all characters etc as I read the Quran and I also speak Urdu - Pakistani language which will help me later on to work for Asian channels. Arabic will be a good idea as I think If I tackle this for maybe 2 years it will give me the confidence to tackle French - as I am a native English speaker. So Arabic it is - I have a lot of online material, audio cds and work books so I will try and dedicate maybe an hour a day to this as well as start to listen to Arab radio, music and try and read magazines.

* get a law degree through distance learning - This will take maybe 4 years if I be realistic, the institution Im working from actually advise to do 7.5 hours a week. For now Im unemployed but Im thinking of scheduling this now so when I do work its routine. Im thinking doing an hour and a half each morning after my morning prayers so it sinks in and is out of the way. Then as the day progresses, if Im not working I can try and do more hours at the library :) What do you think? I could be really lucky an work for a company I worked for previously who in my spare time - i.e. when it was quiet at work, allowed me to do some studying on my own at my desk.

* be more active - kickboxing, belly dancing, yoga - I love what you said here Poppy. Actually, Kickboxing class is on Wednesdays when I move to London I will carry on whatever day the classes are there. I also like dedicated one day to belly dancing and one for yoga, I already have a few dvds, Im going to put together a cd for dancing :) that'd be a great idea..I think evening would be best so Ive done some job apps, done some studying -Arabic and my Legal course and then de-stress to some music :) that sounds great.

* organic beauty products - Im already starting this, once a week Im going to give myself a top to toe treatment, Ive found some natural remedies and natural products I can make at home - EVERY weekend I will try and experiment with this..I should start on myself! :) Im sure I can start doing these eventually as gift ideas and learn new stuff such as soap making.

* learn to cook dishes from other countries - Yeh one day a week is defo feasible. Today Im making lasagne for the family - lol But yeh the one day a week sounds a great way of getting people together too :)

* do more television work, and branch out from the Asian channel - Ok so I spoke to 3 Pakistani channels in London - I just want to do voluntary work one day a week maybe just to start off - learn the business of presenting , news, current affairs etc. However, theyve said they dont have anything right now but if I send them a cv and my pic they will keep me on file. Hmmm Im a bit nervous about this, I need a good pic, a good CV that shows my interest in the media - Ive worked for one other Asian TV and done radio when I was younger..maybe if I word my Cover letter they might understand - I would like to just gain more experience in this field just one day a week - would be ideal a weekend or something :) What do you reckon?

* do charity work involving Asian women - One charity replied, Stopthetraffik. They deal with human trafficking and hve a few projects i can work on. fingers crosed

* financial goals - be financially independent and responsible- hmm ive been kind of lucky through my divorce, im ok for now financially. but can address this later.

I think with my divorce being soo hurtful and traumatic I just want to move on, Ive been back in the UK since September, I had everything in the UAE a great job, great career, lifestyle, car, apartment, friends..dreams. Im ready to start again...I was abused a lot in my marriage hence Im a goddess and victorious :)

Thanks soo much for your insight Poppy. I needed that

Walk Hand in Hand with the Truth - It Will Set You Free
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2002
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 11:28am
Hello there gv -

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 4:44am

Welcome to the board, Goddess Victorious!



I really love your screen name - a nice way to give yourself a positive attitude as you start this new chapter in your life.



Ok, let's list all the things that you want to do:



  • look for a job in London for a law firm