Do you self-sabotage your success?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Do you self-sabotage your success?
13
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 5:19am

Do you self-sabotage your success?



  • Sometimes
  • Yes
  • No
  • I used to
  • I've never considered it as self-sabotage
  • Other


You will be able to change your vote.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 5:25am
From the NYTimes:


Sabotaging Success, but to What End?



By RICHARD A. FRIEDMAN, M.D.

Published: March 22, 2010


“You could say I’ve been unlucky in love,” a young man told me during a recent consultation.


He went on to describe a series of failed romantic relationships, all united by a single theme: he had been mistreated by unsympathetic women who cheated on him.



This was not his only area of disappointment, though. At work, he had just been passed over for a promotion; it went to a colleague whom he viewed as inferior.



I asked him about his work as a computer scientist and discovered that he worked long hours and relished challenging problems. But he also did some curious things to undermine himself. Once, for example, he “forgot” about an important presentation and arrived 30 minutes late, apologizing profusely.



What was striking about this intelligent and articulate young man was his view that he was a hapless victim of bad luck, in the guise of unfaithful women and a capricious boss; there was no sense that he might have had a hand in his own misfortune.



I decided to push him. “Do you ever wonder why so many disappointing things happen to you?” I asked. “Is it just chance, or might you have something to do with it?”



His reply was a resentful question: “You think it’s all my fault, don’t you?”



Continue to read here.

















iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 4:40am

Yes, definitely. I have to stop myself from self-sabotaging, and push myself to stay focused on what I am doing.

















Avatar for ivhhugs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 3:04pm
I am like you as well Poppy,
Have to force myself to focus on what needs to be done :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 2:25am

Do you find it difficult to stay focused?

















Avatar for ivhhugs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 10:28am
Yes there is always something to distract me :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2006
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 11:35am
Great article! I don't think I self-sabotage; rather, I get discouraged easily. It's too hard to pull myself out of my shell after hearing a long string of "no" when I go for job interviews, for example.
March 09 siggy

summer 2010 sig by Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 10:58am
Yep, I do.. depending on what I'm focusing on.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 1:42pm
If something is very urgent & I have saved it until the last minute(I do that a lot) I can power through w/out difficulty. If I'm sorting through junk or house cleaning, things that aren't particularly pressing, I will get off track & may never get back on. For instance, I began to sort old photos, got to thinking about someone I went to HS with, looked for my old yearbook to find the name, then called a friend & asked whatever happened to that girl, whereupon she began to tell me about her bf & the new house he purchased & so on. LOL The photos are back in the *aroundtoit* pile. When I get around to it;) jan

gem21uk

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 7:31am

I'm sorry that you get distracted to easily, but it's a relief for me to read that I'm not the only one!

I found a guided imagery today for concentration but I didn't like the person voice and style :-(

















iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 7:46am

I think everyone gets discouraged pretty quickly when 'no' has been the feedback.

Are you studying full-time now?

It's been a long while sine we talked. I hope that everything is well with you and Mr. Pooh!

















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