stupid

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
stupid
7
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 1:49am
Hello,
So the question I'm preparing to post is some-what silly, but here I am!
So if someone characterizes you as being "different" should be complimentary or an insult?
I have been categorized as different and I am not sure which I am.
Your input?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: sweetbeauty30
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 8:38am

That certainly isn't a silly or stupid question. It's a pretty valid one.



IMHO, it depends on the person and the context. That person's behaviour and body language will also give you a clue as to what that person thoughts and meant by "different".



As you suspect, different can have to many meanings. "You're different!" can be a compliment, e.g. you are different from all those people over there who all look, dress, eat, think, and live the same. Said in another way, though, "You're different" can mean something else, as in strange or weird, eccentric if we're lucky but weirdo if they are crude.



I've always been the different one since childhood ~ the brown-skinned, black-haired, blacked-eyed girl in a sea of fair-skinned blondes and brunettes and the odd redheads; for years the only Asian in my elementary school and I suspect the only Asian many had ever seen in their lives except on TV or in the street or in photos in newspapers or books. Later on when we moved back here I was different because I had lived abroad for a long time, didn't know the language and I spoke with an accent. As an adult I was different yet again in so many ways including when I was in a couple with a South American. For his South American friends I was the exotic Asian girlfriend ~ different in a good way, yeah! For some of his other friends, though, I was "different" and they sneered and made it clear they didn't like me. Not a good kind of different!


Now I am different because I am 46, single, not desperate to get married at all, happy to be where I am in life even though it's not the most perfect of places and I didn't think I'd land here. For years and years I tried to conform. I wanted to conform, be like everybody else, be accepted and not stand out. Finally, when I turned 30, I realized that I didn't want or need to be what I thought people wanted me to be. That's their opinion or problem, not mine. I didn't need to prove anything to anyone but myself. So I partied the whole year long, happy to be me, proud to be different. I'm still proud to be different, even if for some their opinion of my different-ness might not be a compliment. I know which people think I'm different-in-not-a-good-way and which ones don't have such a high opinion about me. Hey, it's their right to free thinking. It's not my problem. I revel being different, and the people I respect, love and am close to like me as I am. They are different like me, too. We're a little tribe.


So, different good or bad - you decide. Which one will it be for you?




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
In reply to: sweetbeauty30
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 2:03pm
I'm different in a lot of ways from other women. I'm child-free by choice. I'm married to a man 19 years younger than myself. I'm a Pagan. I'm not a girly-girl in the sense that I don't wear makeup, I prefer to live in jeans and T-shirts and prefer to be barefoot as much as possible. I live an alternative sexual lifestyle. My childhood was different from my friends at the time, because my mother worked (something women in the early 60s did not do) and I had a Mr. Mom a couple of decades before the movie came out. My parents were also unusual in that my father was almost 50 and my mother was almost 40 when I was born. Nowadays women give birth in their late 30s/early 40s all the time, but back then there were a lot of worries about the baby having Down's Syndrome, and my mother's doctor attempted to talk my mother out of carrying me to full term. My family never attended church, which was something my friends and their families did all the time. I was a military brat and they live in a whole other world than civilian children do. Another thing that others see different about me is that I'm a Rennie, meaning that I attend Renaissance faires dressed up in garb. I read books that other people have never heard of. If a book is wildly popular, like the Twilight series or Harry Potter or The Da Vinci Code I refuse to read them. I have two tattoos and am planning to get more. I'm a wannabe Goth chick and love everything to do with death, cemeteries, ghosts and hauntings, the night, vampires, Halloween, etc.

Looking back at all of these makes me revel in the fact that I'm different in a lot of ways. I'm unique. And I love being unique. All of these differences, all of these traits have made me the person that I am. I'm not ashamed of it at all. If someone calls me different then I take that as a compliment and hold my head up high.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
In reply to: sweetbeauty30
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 12:02am
Hello,
Thanks for sharing the goth portion; that was truly encouraging because I am a bit on the gothic-side and prefer to be modest about it. Not necessarily due to the possible scrutinary, but I prefer to be low profiling, you kow?
To be different is cool bececause it emphasis individuality.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
In reply to: sweetbeauty30
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 3:00am
Hello,
You know, I haven't read the twilight series either and I love horror. But to me, today's horror isn't that scary in an anticipatory manner, you know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: sweetbeauty30
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 3:35am

>> To be different is cool because it emphasis individuality.

Yes!! I totally agree with this.

:-)















iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
In reply to: sweetbeauty30
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 3:24pm
Glad that I could help you out! I just adore Goth fashion and I really wish that I could wear it. But I don't for a couple of reasons. One is that I really just don't have the money right now. Being Goth is expensive! And I'm a big woman and a lot of the clothes just don't come in larger sizes. There are a few online sites that sell plus sized Goth style clothes. Maybe one of these days when I can actually afford to spend money on myself I'll buy some. I subscribe to "Gothic Beauty" magazine and I'm constantly looking through it and thinking, "Ooh, that's so pretty!" and "OMG, I want that!"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: sweetbeauty30
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 12:17am

If you lived here, you could get clothes made to measure at a small neighbourhood tailor. All you'd have to get is the fabric. Cost to make the clothes differ, but isn't that expensive.

Maybe one day we can figure something out for you!