what is my purpose?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
what is my purpose?
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 9:33pm

I guess we have all asked ourselves this question. But lately, this thought has been lingering and it's becoming a bit disturbing.
What is my purpose? why am i here? and what is happiness?
Why cant I be satisfied with what I have? and why can't I go after what I want?

I am 25 years old. 1st in my family to graduate from college, attended one of the worst schools in my city and yet managed to get away from my neighborhood and go away to college. Yet, here I am again. Trying to give back to my community. I decided that my passion was teaching and it was going to be a fun and rewarding job, but... I thought wrong. While teaching is an amazing career, I am realizing that it is not for me. Definitely not in this neighborhood, where kids talk back, curse at teachers and manage to get away with so much because parents are simply not involved.
I work in a very demanding school, with no support what so ever. I don't have certification, or license to teach, but because they really liked me and they are a charter school, they provided me with the opportunity. Now i feel stuck.

I started my masters in teaching, I accepted another year with the school, but yet I hate it. I feel like I am going to go crazy. But yet, I feel inadequate for any other job and don't know if I should change career or if I should try another school. Even if I change careers, what can I do? I haven't been exposed to much. All I know is that I am completely discouraged by the prospect to teach.

I am discouraged with my life. I've always wanted to get away from NYC and try living in a friendlier place, where I can experience something new. Yet, I don't even know where to start. I am completely alone on this one. I have no money saved. I owe credit cards. And I live day to day on my next paycheck.

I need to make a change, but how???
I know this is a lot to take in, but if you have any suggestions please feel free to write.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 6:08am

Welcome to the board, Githela!

And congratulations on all that you have achieved till now. Your family must be very proud of you, and I hope that you are also proud of you, too.

I think 25 is the age where one starts to discover more of oneself. It's a lifelong process that began when we were born, but the first job is for many our first full-body contact with what it means to be in the working world, and how if affects us. As you said, teaching is a wonderful and noble profession, but it isn't for everybody, and when one is teaching in a difficult neighbourhood such as yours, it's really not for everybody.

Maybe you should be teaching, maybe you shouldn't. It's one of those careers that are a calling because it's tough. If you feel strongly that you are to be a teacher, then think what kind of teacher you want to be. Are you supposed to be teaching smaller kids? Are you wanting to teach at elementary school level? Do you want to teach older kids? Teens? Maybe your neighbourhood is too much and too tough for you as a novice teacher? Are there any jobs in other schools?

But if you had to change careers... what would you like to do? What do you enjoy doing? Do you like being with people? Do you like direct interaction with them or do you prefer to work on your own? What are you good at?

If you didn't live in NYC where would you like to live?

For right now, don't worry about the buts and ifs. If your fairy godmother were to tell you to tell her all your wishes for work and home, what would you tell her?