Wonderful Wednesday

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wonderful Wednesday
5
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 4:38am

Why id this Wednesday so wonderful?

Why is it not?

Are you close to your siblings and your cousins?


















iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:10pm

The thing is, the notion of how to be supportive and understanding is subjective. In their eyes, urging you to work on it and have your father be more involved (whatever that means - he doesn't even live near you, does he?), etc is what they understand to be supportive and helpful.

Anyhow... Abandon expectations, work only with the concrete. Right now, you need support and people on your side so gather them around you, and put the ones who are pushing you to take another path on the other side of the boundaries.

Are there service similar to Relate in the UK? I know that Relate has services for those who are going to separate or divorce or thinking about it. This might be really helpful to you not only because you have to navigate through a divorce, but you also have to put up with people pushing you to not divorce. Not that it's their business, but they are there and it's social pressure over you. Relate also offers mediation services, which is most often leads to less bitter divorces and costs less, too as no lawyers are involved.















iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 5:19am

I know that Poppy but I was expecting him to be a little more supportive of me, as I have always been of all my family. This is the only time I ever turned to any one of them for support and this is how I get repayed!>?


What kills me is that each and everyone now is trying to make me ''work at it''.. and they don't understand that I have done exactly that for seven years now. They all think that maybe this time that my father's involved, things wil be better. I cannot understand their rationale.... but this is what I am facing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 10:43am

((((((hugs))))))

Remind yourself that this has nothing to do with your father at all. It would be nice that your dad were supportive and understanding, but keep your focus on you, your husband, the divorce, staying sane and grounded, and finding your way from here to divorced without too many heartaches and venom. And learning co-parenting skills for the sake of your little one.

I understand your betrayal, but what can he say or do?















iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 5:14pm

I am gonna talk about Wednesday that is today. It is not so wonderful because it took me all day, ALL DAY, to gather the courage to tell my husband that I want a divorce, and then ring my dad and tell him as well that I have decided on getting a divorce only to have my husband ring my father asking him where he stands on the divorce issue and have my dad answering him with: women in our family don't get divorces and you can tell her to just shove it....

My father, widowed, twice divorced, and on his fourth marriage, ladies and gentlemen.... :(
You cannot imagine how betrayed I feel....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 9:36pm

Wednesday was not so wonderful. In real-life it was okay. Online there were a couple people hurting...

I am close to my brothers, though we don't talk a lot. But we're there for each other. I am not close to my cousins at all.