Friday Five

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Friday Five
19
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 9:13am

What are your plans for the week-end?

Do you do your groceries during the week or on the week-end?

Do you have a Farmers' Market nearby? Do you shop there?

Do you plan a weekly menu?

Do you cook every day, or do you have one day for the bulk of the cooking and you only have to do light things during the week?















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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 10:30pm

Hey Diana!

How are you? So you've moved already and settled down in your new neighbourhood? Are both your sons living in the same city or have they moved away? Are they living in the same place? What are they doing now?

And what are you doing now?

Huge huge hugs,















iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 10:27pm

((((hugs))))

You can still go to the mediator and ask what can be done when you are in the situation that you are in. It might still be the better solution in the long-term than getting lawyers involved.

The mediator is there to help you discuss all that you want to discuss with your husband, and help diffuse the situation, or help you both understand what each is saying beneath the anger.















iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2002
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Sat, 07-24-2010 - 12:22pm

What are your plans for the week-end?

A combination of chilling, clenaing, working in the yard & playing on iVillage.

Do you do your groceries during the week or on the week-end? Depends.

Do you have a Farmers' Market nearby? Do you shop there? Yes we do but I never get there - too early in the morning for me.

Do you plan a weekly menu? Nope

Do you cook every day, or do you have one day for the bulk of the cooking and you only have to do light things during the week? I haven't been cooking much at all since my ds's moved out : )




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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Fri, 07-23-2010 - 9:04am
Oh Poppy, it has gone really bad. He is refusing to even acknowledge the fact that I want a divorce. Mediation is out of the question as far as he is concerned and the whole scenario has reached an ugly boiling point. I am waiting for him to calm down and have a quiet conversation where we can discuss the facts of co-parenting, finance and the whole technical part of this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 3:57am

Have you talked to a mediator on how it would work if you used a mediation service, what the benefits are, how much it would cost, and how long it would take? Also how you should go about in view to separate, who should move out, what each person's legal and financial obligations are before and after the separation.

Do you want to move out, or should he move out? Do you each have the means to move out? How able care for your daughter and co-parenting?

Your husband has never wanted to go to couple's therapy, has he? You know, couple's therapy isn't only about keeping couples together, but it can help them realize what is best for them - to stay or to separate, and help them do that. It isn't therapy in view of fixing, but therapy with the goal of looking objectively, doing what each has to do for him/herself, the couple and the family, and moving forward instead of going through the old path again which didn't work the first time anyway or didn't last.















iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 9:16am
Well I have yet to decide where we are going from here. He is playing the good guy card on me, promising me all sort of stuff, behaviour changes, .... almost telling mme everything I ever wanted to hear from him. Now he did this almost two years ago when I asked for a divorce then and yes he changed, he was perfect for a while, months.... then.. things went downhill again. I am not sure I want tp repeat that and he keeps telling me that as humans we are bound to make mistakes... and if I don't forgive him his mistakes then I am just being unreasonable.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 7:17am

((((((hugs))))))

It's a huge step, Suffy, and it's a step towards the unknown, too. Sure, you probably have friends who are separated or divorced but that's their lives, not yours. You will have to find your own way to make your best life during this time, during the separation, and post-divorce.

So what are the plans now? Do you want to go through mediation or through lawyers? I hope that you can find a counsellor who can help you through this especially as your family seem to all be against divorce.















iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 8:10am
Life

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 12:01pm
It's a huge decision to make. It falls under "life changing", so it's understandable that you are having these reactions.














iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
In reply to: cl_libelulle
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 5:35am
Poppy,I have not slept properly since I made that decision and find myself going into little panic attacks where the room feels like it is caving in on me for a few seconds... I knew it was gonna be hard but this is just the beginning, I did not expect all this at the very beginning.

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