Falling Apart Too...triggers, be careful

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Falling Apart Too...triggers, be careful
11
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 7:58am

I'm losing it here, but fighting really hard to keep it all together...my mother is in the hospital, my brother and his gf (her caretaker) are moving away and now its all on me to take care of her when she comes home...well, between my father and I.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 8:11am
Keli--I am so sorry you are having a hard time. It is tough when you feel you have to handle everything. We've all been there. Please resist the urge to SI. Please don't feel that we (here at the board) are something else you have to handle. We can work without you for a while so you can get settled. Please remember that we are here for you and understand what you are going through. Please post soon and let us know how you are doing. Amanda
Avatar for wolfewood
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 2:22pm
(((Keli))) Oh sweetie, I don't know what it is, the upcoming blue moon month or some other astrologic/physic convergence, but lots of us seem to be struggling. Sorry to hear about your mom & that you are going to end up shouldering most of her care--maybe there is some sort of visting nurse or home hospice care that her insurance will cover or she'd qualify for on an income basis. I know you love her, but you need to take care of YOURSELF, too so you can be there for your family and her.

Glad to hear that you're still sticking with your meds (it can only help, although we sometimes think otherwise). Wish I could say the same--while I'm not consciously not taking them, I forget half the time because my memory has taken such a nose dive, which I know just makes matters worse.

Hang in there, you ARE a strong, together lady and it's just temporary stressful situations that are hitting you now--remember the (Gloria Gaynor-?) song--I will survive!!--we're ALL going to 'cause we're fighters and survivors and we've got each other to lean on when the rest of the world stinks.

Hugs, Marci

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 6:30pm
(((((((((((((((((((Keli))))))))))))))))))

I feel so bad that all this has been draining you like this. I am so concerned about you. I e-mailed you to talk about all this.

Tina~

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 6:32pm
Keli!! I emailed you and never heard back!! Email me or try to IM me or call me!! If you don't have my number just email me Brenc19@yahoo.com and I can call you if you need me!!

Brenda
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 6:45pm
Keli-

Hang in there. I feel like 95% of my life is pretending to have it together when I am barely hanging on inside.

My granddad recently died and my grandmother had nurses there part-time at first to help her (she couldn't have done it alone, everyone has to take care of themselves first) and then they had a live-in nurse up to the time he died. Hopefully, something like that will be available to help you with this load.

As for hating dh - I do it from time to time sometimes with reason and sometimes without. I know it is because I overreact to most of what he does (not all). It only makes me feel worse when do it.

Just wanted to let you know I've got the falling apart syndrome going on most of the time it seems like.

You can get through it.

muffy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 6:57am
I am new here and don't understand alot about the illness, but I have beenin the caregiver role, for 3 people at the same time> It is over whelming for anyone, I took care of my MOm(stroke) Husband(brain disease) and Dad(cancer), til all three died with in a few years of each other. You all are helping me right now, let me help you. There are all kinds of agencies to help, is she a senior citizen? The senoir citizen center or commission on aging in your area would have a list of resources. And use every last one you can. The first thing you and your Dad need to know is that it is alright to ask for help. I thought i had to do everything, til I had a heart attack. Second, look at this as an opportunity to get to know your Mom even better. When I took care of all three, I learned so much more about them, especially my Mom who actually turned out to be quite funny, she had always been so stern when I was growing up. And look for a support group, just like you do for this. Take a deep deep breath and it really will be o.k. If it all gets to much for you, well your health has to come first, if you are not good to yourself, who will you be good for. It's not a crime to say I can't, caregiving is the hardest job in the enire world, harder than being a parent. It's exhausting. What is wrong with your Mom? I hope you don't mind my asking. I would like to help in this area, something i do know about since this board is helping understand what's going on with my SO and his illness. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts, Betsy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 8:08am

Thanks a lot Betsy...my mom has so much wrong with her...Diabetes, Heart Disease (terminal), and so many other smaller things there are too many to mention.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 8:12am

Brenda,


My AOL isn't working right now...in fact, my computer isn't even hooked up...I miss you, girl!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 8:24am

Tina!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 8:35am
Keli, I am on my way to work, but wanam thinking of you. She is so young, I am only 47. hang in there, look for the support you need and my biggest thing, be good to yourself. By the way I am your neighbor, in Panama City Beach. I am coming to Tall. next month. I hope you have a good day, Betsy

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