What I Wish I'd Known...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
What I Wish I'd Known...
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 6:05pm

before I had children... that sometimes perfection is simply unachievable and that they mostly did not need things to be perfect in the first place.

before I got married... that I needed to know who I was before I tried to entwine my life with another person's. That sometimes going to bed angry is inevitable and that your marriage will survive more than you thought it would, if you were willing to compromise.

before I turned 25.. that this gorgeous gorgeous body was not to be taken for granted and that weekly binges would most surely ruin it.

before I started writing.. that as much as I love writing, there will be days when I simply could not conjure a word and that it was not THAT easy to get a book published.

before I started dating... that I should probably try to play hard to get just a little bit longer.

before I turned 30... that my face will probably survive wrinkle free for another 10 years but sagging will hit a lot sooner and those nights of sleeping with the makeup on were not doing me any favours.

before I chopped my hair a la Victoria Beckham.. that unless I had the patience of a saint and a free hour a day to straighten and blow dry my hair, having it THAT short was not a good idea.

these are mine... what are yours?



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 1:57pm

It's been such a busy week that I've not had the time to think of the things I've wished I had known. There are several, but let me breathe a bit first!

Talk to you later!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 12:47pm

I wish I had known in my early 20s that waiting too long to leave a relationship will bring more grief for everyone concerned.

I wish I had known in my early 20s that tell a boyfriend that it was over and that he had to leave, even if it's in the winter, is okay and acceptable. He'll survive, and he'll find a place to stay. It's more important to take care of oneself first and foremost. It won't make me a mean and selfish person.

I wish I had learned in my mid to late 20s how to open myself up and share what was going on inside of me. It would have spared me a lot of painful experiences.

I wish I had realized it more in my 30s how carefree my life was, and appreciated it even more whilst that still lasted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 3:06pm

Wow, this is powerful stuff Poppy. Do you know that somehow I can identify some of these situations that you wrote about and know what a struggle it is, it must have been, to be able to say these things now. You are a wonderful woman, I truly believe that. Keep on shining.



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2002
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 6:00pm

These are some great question. I am just going to do one.

One thing I wish I would have known before I worked for a certain company that I would not have been able to overcome temptation and I did something that changed my life forever.



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2001
Mon, 09-27-2010 - 4:11pm
I wish I had known much, much, much earlier on what was causing my panic/anxiety.

Arthritis Central

<<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v104

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 9:18am
Unfortunately, most times we only know these things out of (painful) experiences...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 9:22am
I can relate to this, Molly. I know that I wish I had known sexual abuse and PTSD long long before it affected my life as it had.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 10:42am
I loved this!
What I wish I had known...
...Not to settle for anything or anyone...
...that I am "Good-Enough"...
...my ex-husband was an "Abuser" and "Abusive" and the that Abuse was not my fault and I am not to blame.
...how it would affect other relationships...
...how it would "Affect" me...
...about the PTSD and the Depression...
...asking for help is not a sign of weakness but of strength...
...it's okay to stand up for yourself...
..."Abuse" comes in different forms...
...I had known about my ex-fiancés past...
...I deserve respect, my ex disrespected me by lying and that includes lying by omission and his infidelity and abuse were something I did not deserve...
...that the childhood sexual abuse and assault/rapes were not choices I made but were done to me...
...the "Abuse" was not my fault or something I could have controlled or foreseen...
...my ex was not ALWAYS right...
...my mind and body are mine...
Avatar for cmkarla
Registered: 01-03-2001
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 1:40pm

What a great thread!

I wish'd I'd known way back when that

Community ModeratoriVillage.com

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 4:23pm


I LOST my beloved Mom a long time ago so I can relate to your wishing you had more time with your Dad.

My Dad wasn't part of my Life or that of my kids for a very long time.

It's just in this past year he has been around and he is now seventy-nine years old.

I try not to think about it but I think of the years wasted.

He is visiting my younger sister and her husband and their kids.

I know he misses our Mom and is missing his partner who died about a year ago.

He is very Lonely.

I think that Loneliness can happen to anyone young or old.

My daughter is experiencing this after a break-up and while my dad and her are years apart chronologically they are both experiencing "Loneliness"...for me Loneliness always has been a constant companion, it's nothing really new.

I think what is different is I have accepted it.

Sometimes I am okay with it but at other times it is heart-breaking.


Learning that we all experience it has helped.

I wish I had known that there are things that you thought were important that aren't.

I always told my kids that us being together is something that is priceless and to be cherished.

I wish I had known my Mom would be not here forever, I have so many questions for her and my Nanny and no one to answer them.